golf

i think one day i should own a VW. simply for the sake of owning a VW.

the neutral zone

a recent talk i heard on noah:

Hope in the Neutral Zone

for when you are floating. for when the old world is gone, and covered in a flood. for when you are shut in the boat, with no control over direction, no idea of where you are going, or when the water is going to disappear and you will be able to see the new world awaiting... for when you are just floating, waiting on God to speak again.

youth update

It has been a little while since I last sent out an update on what is happening here in the youth, so it's definitely time because God has been moving!

Six months ago God seemed to suddenly put things into motion. After spending a couple of years involved in the youth work across Extremadura and not seeing much happen, we had a youth event where God poured out his Spirit and gave many of the youth a taste of something that they had never had prior: an experience of a living, powerful, holy God.
In the following six months a number of things have been changing. We are seeing a growing interest for inter-church activities and relationships across the region are growing rapidly, realizing that when there is unity and a heart to see God move... it will happen.
God has brought about some radical changes in the youth leadership across the region. Many who were youth themselves just a couple of years ago now find themselves leading their youth groups and asking how, when and where is God going to move! And at the same time wanting to work together, to be disciples and grow, while not being worried about politics and numbers that so often accompany small churches.

Practically we have been holding an event once a month between four local churches in the area and usually get between 40 to 50 youth along. It has been named "Something more to give" (it sounds better in Spanish). We have times of worship, prayer and seeking God, and of course fellowship. We have a long way to go still but there is an increasing hunger for God and a desire to not settle. There is a lot of discipleship to be done and more and more of them are opening up and saying they want it!

In our church, Comunidad Cristiana de Esperanza (Christian Community of Hope if we were to translate it literally) there has been an increase in numbers which is really encouraging. As little as a year ago we would get anywhere from 2 to 10 youth along to a particular event or normal youth meeting. Currently we usually get at least 12 along each Saturday but sometimes up to 18 if everyone comes. And in those kids there have been some real changes and encounters with God. As well, with Diana and I, we have another girl called Brenda who is about 20 and has been a great help. So not only are we seeing the youth growing but we are seeing God raising up leaders from amongst them!

We just had a youth retreat two weekends ago where from our church we took 19 kids. Again God moved powerfully and many kids were really impacted. Including one from our group who gave his life to Jesus. They are growing a lot and are beginning to get connected into the bigger picture of what God is doing in Spain. They are meeting youth from across the nation and are realizing that there is a lot going on in the kingdom! They are excited and are asking the question, what does it mean to live a life completely given over to God. This question is crucial and so encouraging!

We have a fair bit planned for this year: evangelistic-focused encounters in a few of the villages throughout the region to spread what God is doing, trips to Madrid and other places to continue to connect with and establish relationships with the wider body and see what God is doing on a national level (which seems to be picking up a lot of momentum and I meet and talk with other youth from different places), and many smaller local events to be shared amongst the churches, all with the focus on bringing them together into tighter relationship, seeking God and sharing Jesus with others. All this while beginning to disciple and raise up more leaders as was mentioned earlier!

Please continue to pray for us.
Many of the kids come from VERY complicated backgrounds and nearly every single one in my group comes from a broken home. So baggage is there, but it makes it that much more incredible when God truly does deal with it. (Like he has done in our church leadership team! It leaves you unable to deny the power of God!!)
Also, many churches in the area are very short on resources, so continue to pray that God will provide. Few of the youth I am working with come from financially secure backgrounds and if we are to continue to train them, raise them up, open their worlds to the bigger picture it takes money! There are more and more resources, events, and training centres springing up across Spain and a network is being created. In order to take advantage of these God will have to provide.
That God will continue to give us a hunger and a desire to seek him. And that unity will continue to increase and God will give us similar vision across the region (which I believe he is already doing!)

I'm excited and believe that we continue to be on the tip of so much more! So thanks for all your prayers and support.

youth retreat fotos

afternoon futbol


con uno de mis chicos


2 guys im discipling if you will


group foto

how much?

many of us want just enough Jesus Christ to get to heaven, but not enough Jesus Christ to change the world we live in.

a sermon

a sermon on eternity, kinda...

eternity by buechner

Eternity is not endless time or the opposite of time. It is the essence of time.

If you spin a pinwheel fast enough then all its colors blend into a single color-white-which is the essence of all the colors of the spectrum combined.

If you spin time fast enough, then time-past, time-present, and time-to-come all blend into a single timelessness or eternity, which is the essence of all times combined.

As human beings we know time as a passing of unrepeatable events in the course of which everything passes away- including ourselves. As human beings we also know occasions when we stand outside the passing of events and glimpse their meaning. Sometimes an event occurs in our lives (a birth, a death, a marriage- some event of unusual beauty, pain, joy) through which we catch a glimpse of what our lives are all about and maybe even what life itself is all about, and this glimpse of what "it's all about" involves not just the present but the past and the future too.

Inhabitants of time that we are, we stand on such occasions with one foot in eternity. God, as Isaiah says (57:15), "inhabiteth eternity" but stands with one foot in time. The part of time where he stands most particularly is Christ, and thus in Christ we catch a glimpse of what eternity is all about, what God is all about, and what we ourselves are all about too.

symbols

Unfermented grape juice is a bland and pleasant drink, especially on a warm afternoon mixed half-and-half with ginger ale. It is a ghastly symbol of the life blood of Jesus Christ, especially when served in individual antiseptic, thimble-sized glasses.
Wine is booze, which means it is dangerous and drunk-making. It makes the timid brave and the reserved amorous. It loosens the tongue and breaks the ice, especially when served in a loving cup. It kills germs. As symbols go, it is a rather splendid one.


the above is quoted from Frederick Buechner's book Wishful Thinking in the context of communion. But he is not just talking about communion, he is talking about so much more.


Thinking about it, we all have a choice from which cup we will drink in life. Buechner is right, one cup is easy and safe, and the other difficult and dangerous, probably bringing with it a host of problems. Jesus posed the question that still lingers today, "Can you drink from my cup?" The cup is full of risks, pain, suffering, problems and in a way death. But when we stop and think about it, really think about it, we will see that it is the only cup that brings life, life in its truest and fullest form. The way it was meant to be lived.

una coversación

¿para qué? te pregunto
y me miras con sola una mirada.
¿a donde? atrevo yo
y me sonríes con compasión.
que no sé si puedo
y me respondes que ya he llegado

lyrics for the cure for pain

I'm not sure why it always flows downhill
Why broken cisterns never could stay filled
I've spent ten years singing gravity away
But the water keeps on falling from the sky

And here tonight while the stars are blacking out
With every hope and dream I've ever had in doubt
I've spent ten years trying to sing these doubts away
But the water keeps on falling from my eyes

And heaven knows... heaven knows
I tried to find a cure for the pain
Oh my Lord! to suffer like you do...
It would be a lie to run away

So blood is fire pulsing through our veins
We're either riders or fools behind the reigns
I've spent 10 years trying to sing it all away
but the water keeps on falling from my tries

faith

They say faith is about stepping off the edge and knowing, or is it believing? that there will either be something to catch you... or that you will find that you have wings to fly.
Sometimes I feel like the edge has come and gone, and the wings I have are too small for the weight, no one has caught me yet, and I'm still falling, wandering what it will be like when I hit the bottom. The only faith I have left is that when I do, I will still be believing...

song by jon foreman

the cure for pain. sorry for the quality but it was the best i could find.

a few more photos

brighton

in salt lake city we decided we couldn't pass through without carving some powder, so a day's snowboarding was voted in... at Brighton Ski Resort...






pulled out of the ski resort at 5 and drove about 300 miles till we stopped in Rawlins, Wyoming at 9 pm.

from oregon to indiana

a 1994 toyota pickup needed to be driven back to indiana, so Isaiah and I jumped on the opportunity to drive it cross country...




i had to put both pics in since in the first one i had my brothers glasses on, and it's only fair that there is one of us both in them.
i am going to throw out a few of the stats from the journey mixed in with some pics, so here it goes...

shots from oregon to salt lake city:




Left on 1st of January at 5 am.
Drove 800 miles across Oregon, down through Idaho, till we got to Salt Lake City.
Arrived at 9 pm.

the first of dos mil ocho

well back in spain now. the following sessions should fill in what that means exactly but first, goodbye 2k7, hello 2k8. don't worry, no resolutions here.

i suppose i should go back to late november, early december when a series of events led to me getting a ticket to Oregon to spend Christmas with my family... A lot of airmiles were put to use to avoid spending the extortionate holiday rates. and i found myself in the northwest enjoying a mitchell christmas with the fam.

in december my grandpa passed away, suddenly, but not entirely unexpectedly. so it was a blessing to be able to be with family after that happened.

i was due to fly straight back to madrid on the 3rd of january but there was an unexpected road trip about to take place.

lonely post

the lone post in december.

i will not say much, just that i find myself in oregon, on the west coast of the US, enjoying some family, food and snowboarding...

look for a big january here. internet will be back in session and there is lots to tell.

the 1st of january a major road trip kicks off... from Oregon to Indiana... more news to come..

required reading and internet

im not facing the prospect of a month without internet. i could say im fasting from the net, but they reality of the situation is that the ´blessed´ company which calls itself my internet service provider happens to be incompetent. but blessings come in disguises and the past couple weeks have primed me to be without the ole world wide web for the coming month. it´s good for me, heck it´s probably good for us all. i´m already reaping the benefits of starving my body from the subtle addiction... so from now till christmas and probably beyond my internet access will be limited to just a few quick snatches a week. that´s no excuse though to not write....

and while im here i must recommend a book, even call it required reading...

the irresistible revolution by shane clairborne. to sum it up, it´s about ordinary radicals...

re-envisionment

well just when the blog picks up a bit of steam something comes along like a broken internet connection and turns it into water.

what we need is some re-envisioning.


have you ever wondering what it would be like to wake up one morning and have the realization hit you like a ton of bricks... that all this time you have been walking about like a man in a haze, and that all it takes to burn away the fog is to live a life that burns so brightly that everyone in your surroundings either gets burnt or runs away...

what if...?

tag along

Lewis

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world."


"Nothing is yet in its true form."


"Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours."


"You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body."

201

And the worst thing would be to live wondering, What if?

200

it's the 200th time there's been a posting. i remember starting this blog not really having much idea of the direction it would head. fortunately it took it upon itself to form its own identity as we went along. i am envious of those who can see into the future and systematically walk in that direction. i struggle with that on a certain level as i tend to have a hazy idea of something, set off in a hazy direction, and end up with something that at most resembles, often remotely, what i set out for. it is what makes up the differences between us, and let it be said that we need other. i guess you could say i work it out as i go along. i think though that i am learning to balance myself a bit more in the other sense, because not everything is meant to be worked out on the fly, just as not everything is meant to be set in stone before we leave. it's those two sides of the coin again...

so here's to beautiful unplanned things caught up beside vision that brings itself to completion in a faithful manner...

the road

The past months have been a variety of varieties. Different continents with different times zones coupled with different languages amidst different cultures make for variety. Someone once said that variety is the spice of life. Who am I to deny the truth in that and in fact am more than inclined to agree.
What is just as true though, is that continuety is just as important. Stability, permanency, and some steadiness mixed in are ingredients just as vital. Occasionally while running between worlds, the variety that yes, is the spice of life, suddenly becomes too much and burns.


That just came out. It wasn't meant to be a dissertation on life. I sometimes find myself craving stability, knowing what the next week holds, what the next month will bring, and even perhaps, what the next year will be. Of course so often God only shows us a few yards down the path. That's that whole faith/trust thing, and it's entirely good. But then sometimes it's like God flicks on a floodlight and you get a glimpse of what lies off in the distance. So often we desire that and we ask for it, but then when it comes (in his good timing) it suddenly dawns on us what we were asking for, and having seen, we freak out. Once we are given that glimpse there is no going back, no erasing what is now etched within us. Naivety can be bliss, and we are called to be like little children, trusting in Him. But the other side of the coin (and there are almost always two) is that picking up and carrying our cross after having glimpsed what lies at the end of the long walk up the hill outside the city, instills within us a firmness that cannot be bought. Perhaps that is what Paul was hinting at in Ephesians 5: we know that what is suffered instills a firmness in us that enables us to support whatever comes our way, and because of this firmness, God can lead us as he wishes, and this all fills us with hope, a hope that does not dissapoint.

Because we know that whether or not the light reaches the end of the road, whether or not our eyes can peer past the darkness, we have seen past the end of the road, into what lies beyond the end. It is the beyond that God has showed us, it is the beyond that he has talked about, it is the beyond that says to us, it matters not if the road is lit between where you are and here, because that road has already been travelled by the one who suffered it all, the end has been reached, you are already in his grasp, you won't be let go.

here it goes again, again

I have been generally contemplating writing again. Or should I say posting. I have thought about it and have waited and then thought a bit more. In the end, which is now, I decided that it is time. I didn't want to start and then have an immediate drought. So here it goes again.

when you are near

an amazing song. here are the words:

There’s no need to say a thing,
When I’m before you in this silence
I feel refreshed with peace
Break this noise that binds the voice
That tries speak open up my eyes to see
Your gracious sovereign reach

It’s hard to talk when I feel that you are near,
When all is quiet it’s the beauty that I hear,
This hidden place where I know that you calm my fears
I know that you’ve washed my tears

The seasons of change I’ve faced
Have never left me wounded
Only scars of hurt
But never deeply rooted
This healing I have felt
No burden can replace
Redemptive hope has been the story of my pain

All is lost without the breath of life you give
And you give so much
I want nothing more than you so here’s my heart

dialog

Well I have just experienced a drought. It has happened before and in nearly all likelihood will happen again. In the month of september there were two posts. Perhaps in the month of october that will be doubled. That's not much of a wager is it?

I'm back in Spain now. Really been back for a month but haven't had internet till just recently. So maybe blogspot and I will begin to dialog about what life is throwing at us again.

down and out

just to say. arrived back in spain safe and sound. and without internet. so perhaps in a couple of weeks the blog will be back up and running....

here we go again

today i leave for Spain.
leaving home at 1.30 pm on tuesday.
catching bus to chicago at 2.30.
arrive at airport at 4.30 after gaining an hour.
plane leaves at 8.40 pm.
plane arrives in london at 10 am the following day after losing 6 hours.
find a way to get from heathrow to gatwick by 4.35.
at 4.35 pm the flight leaves for madrid.
flight arrives at 8 pm after losing an hour.
rush to bus station to catch the 9 pm bus to badajoz.
estimated travel time from airport to bus station- 1 hour.
if i make the bus i will arrive in badajoz 1.40 am on thursday.
where i will collapse.

makes me wonder why i didn't buy a simple ticket straight to madrid. maybe the couple hundred dollars weren't worth it. i guess we'll find out.

let the traveling begin...

ahh yes.

i had a sudden revelation. it is probably the superior coffee in spain which stimulates my creative writing ability. having been saturated with slightly subpar coffee over the last while has affected my blogging ability. here i was feeling guilty about it and all the while it hasn't been my fault. some would maybe refer to this as blame-shifting but i prefer to think of it as a chance for people to browse the archives and remember all that we have been through together. and maybe watch those music videos one more time.

so again, till the coffee starts to flow...

holiday

i've been in the us of a for the last 5 weeks. that is my excuse for the slow moving content on this blog. i am due to head back to spanishland in about a week. with that should hopefully come an uptick in the material posted. and an uptick in inspiration.

till then...

fire ball

there once was an ancient game. called fireball. literally it consisted of a ball, lighted on fire. today there is still this game. and yes, it is played with a ball, on fire. real flames, real heat, only for real men. that's right. i don't know what they used back in the day, but hoy en dia, we use a tennis ball, soaked in a liquid of choice. our liquid of choice was gasoline. some say that diesel works even better. guess we'll just have to try it for ourselves.

then a flame is touched to the ball and whoooooooosh. you have fire. and ball. fireball. the apex of the heat is right at the beginning and so the first toss is always hot. (try and remember to wipe the gasoline off your hand before lighting or picking the ball up...)

the fire ball is then tossed from person to person, lighting up the night sky. sometimes it lasts for a few minutes, other times less. sometimes we use the same ball a couple of times. creativity is a must. (as well as a cameraman, or woman... thanks mom)

there are very few consequences to this fun game. sure one must bear a bit of heat but its really nothing. you end up smelling of smoke and gasoline. and by the end, all those little hairs on the back of you hand, well they are singed. (if there are any left) just be sure to not let the lighted ball roll into your garage and underneath your cars!! let the games begin!


Let's make fire!


If it gets cold, just gather around the flames.




Fire a little too close.





Ike's hand on fire.


My hand on fire.


More fire.

all the way my savior leads me.

continuing the trend- lyrics i like. i heard this hymn today and it was amazing it was written by Fanny Crosby a long time ago. rich mullins did a version. its short though. someone should do a longer version with some serious instrumentals and momentum changes. just a thought.



All the way my Savior leads me;
What have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His tender mercy,
Who through life has been my Guide?
Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,
Here by faith in Him to dwell!
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well;
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well.

All the way my Savior leads me,
Cheers each winding path I tread;
Gives me grace for every trial,
Feeds me with the living Bread.
Though my weary steps may falter,
And my soul athirst may be,
Gushing from the Rock before me,
Lo! A spring of joy I see;
Gushing from the Rock before me,
Lo! A spring of joy I see.

All the way my Savior leads me
O the fullness of His love!
Perfect rest to me is promised
In my Father’s house above.
When my spirit, clothed immortal,
Wings its flight to realms of day
This my song through endless ages—
Jesus led me all the way;
This my song through endless ages—
Jesus led me all the way.

sound of silence - english lyrics

The sound of silence,
that which I don’t want to hear,
is that cold night,
that which I want to avoid-
the discovered feeling
when the sun will come and burn me.
Why keep laughing,
when I feel that you aren’t there.
Why desire the seas
if my boat will only sink.
Why keep on living
if far off is where you are.

My strengths are quickly fading,
my dawn is ready to break.
Another day in silence
the one that just passed by…
Pass and they pass the minutes
in my dark loneliness.
Solitude that feeds itself
on the silence of your mouth.
That mouth that smiles
pronouncing my name like so.
That name you gave me
saying that yes my love
it’s my love, in you it waits
and always will wait.
It’s your love that condemns me
to this eternal freedom.
And even though a thousand silences go by…

I know that soon you will speak…
I know that soon you will speak…

The sound of silence,
where I know you will listen
to the whisper of my song
to the shout of my call
the calling of my soul
asking your freedom.
I want to continue laughing,
even though the cry is here,
though my boat is sinking,
I know that I will be able to swim.
The current of this river
will take me to your love.

You are my fortress,
mi shield and spear.
You are all that I have,
when I feel that you aren’t there.
You are my company
in this dark loneliness.
Loneliness that feeds itself
on the silence of your mouth.

Come back, come back the moment
of hearing you in your silence.
Come back, come back the moment
of hearing you in your silence.

Loneliness that feeds itself,
on the silence of your mouth.
That mouth that smiles
pronouncing my name like so…
I know that soon you will speak to me…
I know that soon you will speak to me…

sonido del silencio video

el sonido del silencio

“El sonido del silencio”
por Alex Campos

El sonido del silencio,
el que no quiero escuchar,
es aquella noche fria,
la que quiero evitar
el sentirme descubierto
cuando el sol me quemará

Para qué seguir riendo,
cuando siento que no estás
para qué quiero los mares,
si mi barco se hundirá
para qué seguir viviendo,
si a lo lejos tú estás.

Que las fuerzas se me agotan,
mi alba está por comenzar
Otro día en silencio
el que acaba de pasar…
Pasa y pasan los minutos
en mi oscura soledad
Soledad que se alimenta
del silencio de tu boca
Esa boca que sonríe,
pronunciando así mi nombre
Aquel nombre que me diste,
diciendo que sí mi amor
Es mi amor que en ti espera
y que siempre esperará,
Es tu amor que me condena
a esta eterna libertad
y aunque pasen mil silencios

Pronto sé que me hablarás…
pronto sé que me hablarás…

El sonido del silencio,
donde sé que escucharás
el susurro de mi canto
y el grito de mi llamar
el llamado de mi alma
pidiendo tu libertad
Yo quiero seguir riendo,
aunque el llanto aquí está,
aunque el barco se me hunda,
sé que yo podré nadar…
la corriente de este río
a tu amor me llevará.

Tú eres mi fortaleza,
mi escudo y mi lanza
Eres todo lo que tengo,
cuando siento que no estás
Eres tú mi compañía
en esta oscura soledad…
Soledad que se alimenta,
del silencio de tu boca…

Vuelve, vuelve el momento
de escucharte en tu silencio
Vuelve, vuelve el momento
de escucharte en tu silencio

Soledad que se alimenta,
del silencio de tu boca
Esa boca que sonríe,
pronunciando así mi nombre…
Pronto sé que me hablarás…
pronto sé que me hablarás…

snow patrol vids.

big fan of this band.

Life and death

I once read a book that talked about life and death. The point it made, or at least the point the author was making was that one always goes with the other, in both the literal and the figurative. You cannot have one without the other. Something of that has stuck with me ever since then.

Life is a series of stages. We pass through them one by one, occasionally skipping something until we arrive at the end. But that is jumping ahead.

We are born. We consist of eating and sleeping. Then slowly but steadily we transition into a rational being in which we consist of thinking and feeling. We maintain that level for a good number of years until the slow but steady transition back to a being that consists of eating and sleeping becomes more apparent and then we die.

Death is a rather large topic in and of itself but nevertheless, when one stops to ponder one's own death, the thought usually is a bit foreign. Other people's deaths can seem more imminent or real, but just as sure as theirs is yours and mine. There must be many stages in coming to grips with one's own death as life passes by. Not to do with terminal illness's or anything of the sort, but rather the normal, everyday, simple act of death that awaits me in X number of years. For instance, the thought of one's own death at 17 cannot be remotely similar to the same thought 20 years later and again 20 years after that. As I sat in a funeral the other day I found myself thinking of my own and how I would like it to be. Then it literally hit me that I won't be around for it. The realization was again, foreign. I have been involved in, present and participating in nearly everything to do with me in my life so far. That particular day however, I won't be. I realized that I don't dwell on it very often but that does not diminish the reality. All of that really to say that the concept of our own personal moving on is not one which we often let enter our thoughts.

Each stage deals with life and death. Each involves the death of certain parts and the birthing of others. More often than not, one does not pass into the new until they pass through the dying of the old. It is true with interests, relationships, behavior, thoughts, dreams and so on. They walk hand in hand, this life and death.

Just look back on your own life and the significant points and changes that you have walked through. How many occurred without something else, relatively major, dying some sort of figurative death?



What I am about to say is slightly scary. Scary because I am young, I could be wrong, or even more that I am writing truth and have no idea what it is to suffer it in it's entirety and all its consequences...
Death just might be something to embrace. And not to fear. For perhaps the main difference between the two companions, life and death, is that one is eternal and the other is slowly dying. And when that marked day dawns, that will be where the two companions separate, one will step into eternity and the other will take its final journey.

That day still awaits a different day's dawn and so the two companions continue to await each of us. Each is a reminder of the other. By embracing them both we step into freedom. Freedom to pass through one to have the other. Both in this life and the next. No one said it was easy. But maybe those who understand a little about death are the one's who understand the most about life. I'm not sure about that but it makes me wonder. Going even farther, maybe it's when both are embraced together that they are experienced as they really are and as they really should be.

Revelation 21 comes to my mind. It talks about Death dying.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away..." To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life.

So while everyone's eternal journey starts with both companions mentioned in the title, it is those who drink of the water, that soon only walk with the one.

and then i find this one- En Vivo

Rayando el Sol Unplugged - Maná

hot days at work

burning sun has been blazing down on me the last few days. it penetrates beneath my skin and heats from the inside. and leaves me crispified on the outside. it drains my energy and parches my throat. i drink water, walk away and am thirsty again. so i drink again. and then i am like a log floating in a water. waterlogged.

i move sluggishly about, still carrying a thirst. classic rock bellows forth from the trucks positioned about. a new song starts. "TRIVIA" someone yells, and while the song sounds familiar i can't spit out who it is. and neither can i spit period, because my mouth is like cotton again.

i've got concrete splashes all over my clothes, dirt in my shoes, and a lack of water in my system. but its all good, cause i'm at work.

Baseball days

Baseball days in Chicago with my dad and brother. White Sox versus Detroit Tigers. Sox win, 4-3 on a play at the plate in the bottom of the 9th.

Destination

Circles and patterns bleed into blurriness
while journeys finish and sky meets horizon.
Time winds down as life winds up,
and every body meets its end,
and then the maker.

Set Fire to the 3rd Bar

I find a map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from A to where you B
It's only finger-lengths that I see
I touch the place
Where I'd find your face
My fingers in creases of distant dark places

I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science

Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

-Snow Patrol

fire

fire in the backyard.

an update of the briefest proportions

i think whenever its been a while and i haven't written, i just fall back on the update title and then i can just write whatever comes to mind in the space below. it easy to fall into and hard to avoid. so i let myself go once again...

the coffee in Indiana is nothing compared to what we drink in Spain. there just ain't two ways of saying it. however at 4:50am i don't really care what is sliding down my throat, it just better help my eyes stay open. thats cause i am pouring concrete where i always pour it. the first few days back they were a bit slow and i didn't get to work. suddenly i realized how much it really is a blessing to have work and a way to earn money. and i feel blessed.

i have noticed that my language has deteriorated being back on the old mud laying crew. not foul or anything, i just twang my words and talk hick. its cause we do it on purpose to pass the time. just that after a while, its hard to stop... worrying. i could get fired from my English teaching position.

one thing thats been cool about being home is that i can drive! its one of the things i really miss being in Spain. That and my brother has got a manual 5 speed civic. good times.

there was a thing on victoria beckham on tv last night. i can't believe victoria beckham has made it onto my blog... but stay with me, im going somewhere with this. it was called 'victoria beckham: coming to america' or something along those lines. basically a non-education documentary. well it was educational, just not in an academic sense, more of a wow... so that is how people with that much money live. so i was watching it (after a fav show of mine, so it wasn't like i went looking for it) and i started liking her. no, i don't have a crush on victoria. i just mean in the sense that she is a somewhat likable person. and has a pretty good sense of humor. and she said the "major" about 60 times. cept she is English and so she says "maja". it was quite funny, everything was majaaa. you have to think in a posh English accent though. or it doesn't work. or maybe you just had to be there...

got a bit sunburnt the last couple days. not much more to say about that.

im gonna stop here otherwise this post won't be of the briefest proportions... and 'round here we like to stick by our word...

my theory.

what I don't think people are aware of is that humpty-dumpty was pushed.

umm, title notes

so as not to be confused, you should know that for the next month and a half the coffee will not be in España but rather Indiana.

but that's okay because while i may be addicted, we've got this sweet coffee maker that grinds the coffee and drips it out at whatever time you set it to. and what is more, i smuggled some coffee into the country with me. so that dripping in the background would be hot, black, spanish-speaking cafè baby. drink up!

back to the... homeland

here i am, arrived and kicking in the homeland. well kicking only after a big caffeine buzz. then i crash. on the floor. and to have my dad toeing me in the side, telling me i should go to bed. that's a lot of unwanted work, so i grunt, roll over and go back to sleep.

and wake up at 4:30 am. but that's life in a time zone 6 hours different to what my body is demanding. whew. good thing tomorrow is saturday. not that it makes any difference.

i think if i continue down this road it might soon be lacking coherence. so we'll wind her to a close and wait for inspiration to arrive, via video shown on the back of eyelids.

sun and clouds

i have to say, that flying above the clouds is one of the experiences i relish most. breaking through the clouds into perfect sunshine with a perfect expanse of white below is nothing short of breathtaking.

next wednesday i get to partake.

if I understand a little of what he is like...

Reading a friend's blog recently inspired me to do the same...



God is like the blue in the sky above the clouds, like water the first time drank, like the offered hand of a stranger that we feel we should know.
He gives concepts like paradoxes to put him in and aid understanding. He is always the same yet he suffers change of heart. He always was and is and will be, and was born then died.

God is like the summer's midday sun that doesn't relent.
He gives choice and then hounds into submission. He allows us fight him and sometimes we almost win. Then he shuts eyes, only to pry them back open. He demands much and is content with little. He demands all and doesn't stop until he has it. He doesn't force and holds with an open hand.

God is like a key that fits the door of a world we knew was there and kind of see but haven't yet figured out how to speak the language.
He is patient like the day is long. And sometimes in the long, dark night he is nowhere to be found. He doesn't leave nor forsake.

God is like perfection that isn't afraid to hold a child that has been playing in the dirt for a while.
He is faithful like gravity and even then he has been known to bend it. He is knows all and demands us to say it again.

He is like the eagle that gives up its wings so it can know what it is not to be able to soar.
He is a father whose children reject him.
He is a man whose wife is unfaithful.
He is open arms that never close, his voice never wavers, his heart never wanes.
He is love that cannot be summed up in all the love that was ever loved on this dirt planet. Except for the love of one who walked through life with open arms and then died with them in the same position.

God is like wind that blows. Arms can be open or they can be closed, but he will not be caught... and neither will he be outrun... in life or death.

stansted

i was in England for a brief period of time. three days to be exact. Friday Saturday and Sunday. well technically Sunday night as well. see our flight left at 7 am on Monday morning.

you do the math.

7 am flight. being international, must arrive 2 hours prior. estimated traveling time to airport, 1.5 hours. time to wake up and get things around and in the car, 15 minutes. so what time would the alarm need to go off?

if my math is correct (and i was an English major) it would be a 3:15 start. and who on this side of the planet would want to take someone to the airport at 3:15 in the morning, not to mention hitting London traffic on the way back.

thats a big no one. and the truth be told, i wasn't up for it either. so we went to the airport the night before. and we slept on the floor. on the cold, hard, dusty floor. all in all it wasn't the worst night i've passed. i think back to a night i spent in Madrid, waiting outside the bus station for a good 5 and a half hours. that was definately colder, harder and dustier. okay, so i didn't sleep loads but as long as you've got something to lay your head on...

which brings me to my main point. we weren't the only ones sleeping in the airport. i figured there would be a handful of other weary travelers and a couple of smart homeless guys. but truth be told again, there were MASSES of people. i am often a conservative guesser and but i reckon we were nearly touching 300 people. this is in lovely Stansted Airport by the way. if you don't know the size, well you can walk from one end to the other in about 10 minutes.

nothing personal against stansted actually. just its in the middle of nowhere, thats all. it faithfully serves the 70 people who live that side of london, which the other 3.5 million everywhere else are left with an eternal drive along Britain's busiest carpark. oh i mean road. oh i guess i didn't mention it. on the way, leaving the airport, we sat on that very road for 3 and some odd hours. bumper to bumper. who puts an airport at the end of a crowded road anyways?

but back to the airport, so people everywhere. hundreds of them. and what is more, some of them were professional airport sleepers. placing all joking to one side, we saw people on blow up matresses, with sleeping bags on top and about 4 pillows. who carries blow up mattresses, sleeping bags, and a 3 to 1 pillow to head ratio?!?!? obviously quite a few. and so to say its a sight i won't soon forget.

small airport, many people sleeping, or perhaps just trying to sleep. and a few, apparently smart souls snoring soundly away on their blow up mattresses in the middle of the Ryanair checkout line.

next time i'm going to Heathrow.

z z z

i've realized that the previous post was nothing more than an attempt at making myself tired so i would want to go to bed. occasionally i suffer this phenomenon where, tired or not tired, i don't want to go to bed. so i prolong the inevitable, doing meaningless tasks that have no eternal purpose, or even momentary for that matter. funnily, in the morning i always feel the opposite and ask myself what the heck was i thinking and why would anyone put off going to sleep?

i think it's connected with an subconcious fear of laying in bed for an hour, wide awake, not being able to sleep. but really, wide awake and not being able to sleep aren't that different.

obsessive compulsive paranoia comes to mind.

there's got a be a picture or at least something... anything!

nearly every time i sit down i don't know what i'm about to put down. i think it's what keeps this thing going.

but then sometimes i sit down and i just stare at the screen. or i type a sentence and delete it. retype a sentence and redelete it. till i either give up or go down a completely different line.

then there are the instances like what is happening right now. instead of giving up, i am just going to post what i've got down.

proverbs

a few i've stumbled upon.

I
he who lets offenses pass by,
creates ties of love;
he who does not, alienates his friends.

II
even idiots can pass for wise and intelligent
when they shut up and keep silent.

III
the fool has no desire to learn;
only the desire to flaunt what he already knows.

III
it's stupid and shameful
to respond before listening.

IV
what is at first easy to acquire,
in the end doesn't bring much happiness.

further spacing and a scorpion

the other day i stumbled upon a scorpion. yes a real live scorpion and it was carrying the body of a cockroach (previously mentioned) off somewhere... to eat it? (i dunno if they are carnivores or not.) but anyways it was my first experience with a scorpion in a live, anything goes environment. after a brief moment of incredulity, then a rush of adrenaline, and at last a brief panic attack, i analyzed the situation...

1- i am bigger than him.
2- i am faster than him.
3- i am stronger than him.
however,
4- i don't have a tail that i can jab into things leaving a poisonous trail.
but,
5- i do have shoes that i can use to squash his little jabby tail.
that being said,
6- i have nothing against the guy.
7- i hope he has nothing against me, other than the murderous thoughts i am thinking.
8- all he is trying to do is take some supper home to his scorpion children.
9- how would i feel if someone were to squash me while i was trying to feed my children? (not that i have children, but when i do...)
however,
10- my children will not be born with a tail with which they use to kill things.
11- it's not his kids' fault though that they do.
sidenote: i wonder if he used his tail to kill the cockroach? if that were the case than it would be a point in favor of the venomous tail. a small point, but a point.
moving on...
12- he hasn't cornered me.
13- i haven't cornered him.
14- there is nearly always a non-bloody solution if both sides are willing to work towards it.
15- we are 5 miles away from my house so it is highly unlikely that he will hunt me down tonight, come in through my open window, and stab me to death while I sleep, just for taking so long to decide how to maneuver this situation.

so we both went our separate ways. he to his home to feed the cockroach to his children, and me to my home to ponder how i would like to be treated if i had an awkward tail that instilled fear in 89 percent of gringos...

spacing

this is really just a post to get that ugly thing a bit further down the page so it's not the first thing one sees. that being said I'm going to have to write a bit more than this to move it along.

so an update ensues.

I've got short hair and no new teeth paranoia's. i am currently listening to my new Snow Patrol cd which I bought on iTunes. it's dang good. i haven't put on much weight I don't think, but then again, I don't feel as skinny as I used to. maybe that's cause it's been two weeks since anyone has made a comment. that's a pretty long time. cherries are in season in Spain. for those who don't know, Spain has the best cherries in the world. i currently have the pit of one in my mouth. I'm not chewing it cause they are pretty hard, but rather I've just got it there between my teeth and my cheek. it's like a comfort thing. june's a hot month. july and august are hotter but we aren't there yet. gets to be like 95 around here pretty easily. by the end its regular triple digits.

what else is new? well i am gonna be home for about 6 weeks in july and august. that's not new but it is coming up.

well I'm gonna leave it at that for now. i could think of more stuff to say but that would involve thinking for certain periods of time. what was written above came up spontaneously, and i feel like i might ruin the post to actually ponder what write. a pondered post deserves its own space.

la cucaracha

not to be gross or anything, but tonight we had a cockroach killing. now before you go all crazy and start saving their fur, let me just say they are pests. they are ugly, foul, with hairy legs, wings, and crunchy little bodies the color of... well why not just have a glance at the pic?
there is a drain outside of the house. at about 10 something at night Az made a trip out to the garbage bin to drop some stuff there. a few minutes later he runs up to the window motioning for me to come out. something about make sure you put some shoes on...
coming out of the drain of the house was nothing less than an army of roaches. big ones, little ones and all sorts of crunchy, dirty sizes in between. our neighbor had taken to spraying half a bottle of insecticide down the hole. what ensued could only be described as a massacre.
when it was all said and done we had taken the lives of between 150 and 200 of the suckers without suffering a single casualty ourselves. Az took one in the hair. I had a couple bounce off my arm, and Abby, well Abby didn't stick around too long. Az and the neighbor were dancing like lunatics, squashing the life out with the bottoms of their shoes while I was using a lethal right arm, armed with a flyswatter, to pick them off the walls. the downer with the flyswatter was that they occasionally bounced the little buggers back at you. and let me just say that they aren't easy to kill. more than one swat was often needed.

well after a good 20 minutes, no joke, they weren't coming out so fast. so we taped up the drain, finished off a few stragglers and swept the corpses into a pile on the road. all the while listening to the scratchings of few late comers trying to escape the now taped up drain. there was no sympathy floating about...

maybe the city will get those fumigators out here finally...

why not a random picture? i'm having trouble sleeping.

it's june now and time stops for no one.

i figure that sums up the recent blogging activity.

i'd like to express myself here. i'd like to explain what is new and where my life is headed. but. but it seems like the ink is dried up. that or someone has turned my pen upsidedown and the force of gravity is no longer drawing out the words. so either i need to get one of those pressurized pens or somehow get the pen back to rightsideup so gravity can do it's thing. maybe i'll opt for the second since pressurized things have the tendency of exploding on white shirts.

on the way to weddings in an elevator.

it's my screensaver right now. i thought i'd share.

plane tales

white lines in the sky speak
of places far away
and full of unknown.

they appear in the horizon
moving slowly but swiftly
over our piece of earth.

then slowly but swiftly
they dissipate back
into unbroken blue expanse.

leaving for only a short time
wisps of cloud that speak
of someone else's life.

resaca

i think i've had a posting hangover from all the Bolivia postings. after a barrage of information and pictures, there has been a noticable lack of material being uploaded. to make up for it i have put a picture behind the title. it's nice but by stretching the picture to fit the frame it really distorted the houses. the jury is out on the verdict still. i'm not asking for opinions on this, just saying that i might change it later.

but while it's there, take solace in the fact that i have made up for the lack of recent material by placing a nifty picture behind the title...

storytime

Due to demand, a photo is being posted. And no, your eyes aren't decieving you, there is a butterfly resting on my straw hat.

the Wizard of Oz

Several weeks ago I was asked to participate in a book fair. No, they didn't ask me to do a book signing or anything illustrious like that. Rather they asked me to read a story from my country to a bunch of elementary schoolchildren. In Spanish of course.

You don't know how hard it is to find a story that finds its roots in the US and amongst the classics as well. To start off with, most of the classics have been around for at least several hundred years. They are told down through the generations and become famous. Well the US hasn't been around that long. Nearly every story that came to my head find it's birthplace in either Scandinavia, Germany, France or England. The obscure eastern European countries seem to publish quite a few too. That all that made things difficult.

In the end, the only story I could find decently translated online or in the library here in Badajoz was, the Wizard of OZ. Okay, so I found more than that, but it had to be at least 25 minutes long. That got rid of most and left me with an American Classic I have never previously seen or read... Though I had heard of it!

So the previous two weeks were spent practicing reading to myself, alone in my room. Az or Abby would comment about hearing monk-like chanting coming from my part of the house. Also during those two weeks, I stumbled upon a costume and thought, wow, what a great way to keep the kid's attention. So a scarecrow I became. Unfortunately it was a woman scarecrow, with a fake butterfly sewn onto the hat, and plastic bags cut into strips to look like straw. Woman or not, in the end it passed.

Well the big morning arrived. Costume in the backpack and made my way down to the plaza. At 11 o'clock sharp a group of schoolkids showed up. And if I am allowed to say so myself, they were darn impressed with the wierd guy dressed up as a woman scarecrow speaking a mixture of Spanish and English at them. (The English was just to keep their interest.) Half an hour later I finished the story with Dorothy back home in Kansas, myself completely drenched in sweat, and most of the niños paying me absolutely no attention.

What can I say? 25 minutes is a long time to make some poor little seven year olds sit and listen to a story that maybe went a bit over their heads. But hey, it was an experience.

Oh yeah, when I finished I was asked to immediately repeat it. Whoever was supposed to tell the story during the half hour slot following mine, didn't show up. What the heck. "Once upon a time in a grey field in Kansas..."

Maybe one day I'll get around to watching the real thing...

I didn't take it but my friend did. Note the straightness of the pole. It is from Bolivia and is a good picture to finish that up with... for now.

At first exciting and slightly prone to showing off.
Taken home and laced up carefully,
they do not seem to fit right.
It is a generic mold with little character
that is only taken care of with a little
time and use.

Slowly the gleam is traded for comfort,
and the shine is replaced with wear.
Scuffs mark the corners,
the leather cracks and the soul wears.
The smell of the master takes hold,
while time and weather make their mark.
Character however only increases.
They become dependable and useful,
serving many purposes,
walking many miles.
Heat and cold, wind, rain and sand,
till their day comes.

And they are set aside.
For they are temporary,
a short season and their time is up.
No longer will they travel,
no longer will they walk.
They are difficult to give up,
the memories and journeys have been many.
But they have served their master well.
All good things in this life,
along with that which is not,
are brought to an end...

So the next can begin.