white sox!!

While in Chicago we hit up the White Sox on a beautiful, cool night, perfect for baseball. We had seats in the outfield bleachers in a packed house to see the pale hose take on the Texas Rangers. In accordance with their custom when we are in the stands, the Sox were pounded 6-1 and generally didn't play great ball. But the experience wasn't tarnished too much (it's baseball, the best teams still lose 60 plus games out of 162!) and we left the richer for having been... (the following night their bats responded and won 10-2, go figure)




can't forget 2005. world series champions. go Sox! campeones, campeones...




US Cellular Field. doesn't sound quite like Comisky Park, but since we live in a world where marketing is everywhere, even the name of the stadium has to do its part, pulling in revenue...




a little action.




lined up and surrounded by semi-sober, baseball experts who took pride in constantly telling the Ranger's outfielder Josh Hamilton that he sucks. nevermind that Hamilton just got back from the all-star game where he set a new baseball record for most homeruns in the derby in one round.




from t-shirts to hats, we were all appareled up!




Ninth inning was wrapped up and we were headed home. (Just missing Ash in this picture, maybe if someone has the ability to superimpose..?)

Chicago at Night.

Hopefully somebody got the reference to Spoon... Then again, has anyone even heard of Spoon?

wedding

Saturday the 19th of July, 2008, Jeremy Miller was joined in marriage with Carrie Ulrich. It was the end of one stage of life and the beginning of an even better one. I'm not going to blubber on about the occasion but let it suffice to say that it was a beautiful event and I am extremely happy for them. There were a lot of laughs and probably a few women crying like they tend to do at weddings. (Nothing wrong with that, I'm honestly not criticizing.) Carrie was of course gorgeous and Jeremy looked dashing. Okay, enough of that, I'm getting near the blubbering line. Anyways.... I wouldn't have missed it for anything. Nuff said.

summetime II

what this is is entertainment. on an evening where there isn't too much breeze, a bit of moon and a star or two, grab yourself a few tennis balls. soak them gently in gasoline until wet. place on driveway away from dry grass and put flame close to the ball. watch the fire catch hold. grab tennis ball quickly and throw at friend. friend- catch tennis ball and throw to another friend. continue until the ball flames out. film for good memories. if footage refuses to load, use foto instead.

summertime

happy clouds. its not photoshop, just an airshow down the road if you were wondering...





tubing at the lake. good times.

LIFE part I

My grievance with contemporary society is with its decrepitude. There are few towering pleasures to allure me, almost no beauty to bewitch me, nothing erotic to arouse me, no intellectual circles or positions to challenge or provoke me, no burgeoning philosophies or theologies and no new art to catch my attention or engage my mind, no arousing political, social, or religious movements to stimulate or excite me. There are no free men to lead me. No saints to inspire me. No sinners sinful enough to either impress me or share my plight. No one human enough to validate the "going" lifestyle. It is hard to linger in that dull world without being dulled.

I stake the future on the few humble and hearty lovers who seek God passionately in the marvelous, messy world of redeemed and related realities that lie in front of our noses.

William McNamara (10)



In-satisfaction.
The desire to be fully human.
To be truly alive.
A thirst for that which we will be, when he appears and we become like him, seeing him as he truly is.

But the resistance comes.
The rains fall.
The floods come.
The rains do not fall.
The desert stretches across the horizon.
The valley darkens.
Our eyes fail.
And so-
We settle.
We conform.
We stop striving.
We stop dreaming and forget the dreams we have already dreamt.



Life is hard.

It is easier to relax in the embracing arms of the The Average. Easier, but not better. Easier, but not more significant. Easier, but not more fulfilling. (18)
(The council in this day and age is that we can arrive at our full humanness by gratifying our desires.)
Has something ever been further from the truth?
Someone once said, "Not my will but yours be done."


Vitezslav Gardavsky (a Czech philosopher and martyr) said that the terrible threat against life is not death, nor pain, nor any variation on the disasters that we so obsessively try to protect ourselves against with our social systems and personal stratagems. The terrible threat is that we might die earlier than we really do die, before death has become a natural necessity. The real horror lies in just such a premature death, a death after which we go on living for many years....... (17)



I don't want to die early. I don't want the easy. I have said it before and I will say it again and hope that the only one who can prevent the mediocre from taking root is listening and hears my prayers. For I want to be fully human. I don't want to die before I'm dead. I want fullness in all its pain.

We are meant to have life and to have it abundantly. That means that whatever it brings, whether floods or deserts, valleys or mountaintops and everything else in between, we can live it in abundance. Abundance. Without reserve. Without holding back. Letting go and becoming a humble, hearty lover of God in this messy, marvelous world of the redeemed.




Chunks of this were taken from Run with Horses by Peterson, with some of my comments thrown in.

Jesus and Leadership

A response to Jesus and what he taught about leadership... It's a bit long but hey, don't read it if you don't want to....

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A professor once told his classroom full of students, “All around you, people will be tiptoeing through life, just to arrive at death safely. But dear children, do not tiptoe. Run, hop, skip, or dance, just don't tiptoe.” (225)
It is safe to say that Jesus did anything but tiptoe through life.

Paul says in I Corinthians 4:16, 11:1 and Philippians 3:17 that we should follow his example, as he follows the example of Christ. We are called to be imitators and just as Paul was, so we are called to both lead and follow. To set an example as we follow the example set before us. As followers of Jesus, as disciples being watched and imitated, as people with influence, and therefore leaders, we cannot afford to tiptoe along this narrow path that we are called to travel.

Jesus was radical, as was Paul. In the book Irresistible Revolution, Paul is referred to as a terrorist before his conversion and it is true. The thing about Paul was that he was radical before he met Jesus, and he was still radical after he met him. He was fighting for a wrong cause when he had a revelation of Jesus, and a wrong cause was replaced by the greatest cause ever. He started out a terrorist and ended up an extremist for grace (271).
On a certain level it is very easy to settle in for mediocre leadership. It costs less and will still produce a few results. Mediocre leadership consists of taking the example and teaching of Jesus and attempting to talk your followers into being nice, good people. Which is not all bad, except that it is settling for grape juice when wine could be had. Frederick Buechner describes it like this in the context of the Lord’s Supper (121):
Unfermented grape juice is a bland and pleasant drink, especially on a warm afternoon mixed half-and-half with ginger ale. It is a ghastly symbol of the life blood of Jesus Christ, especially when served in individual antiseptic, thimble-sized glasses.
Wine is booze, which means it is dangerous and drunk-making. It makes the timid brave and the reserved amorous. It loosens the tongue and breaks the ice, especially when served in a loving cup. It kills germs. As symbols go, it is a rather splendid one.
In a sense that seems backward, the challenge today is to drink of the wine. Buechner is right when he says it is the dangerous cup, it is not the easy cup. It is the cup that will bring problems and suffering, but it is also the only cup of the two that will ever bring about what is really worth having. Jesus posed the question that still lingers, “Can you drink from my cup?” and provokes the question, “Which cup do we offer to those who lead?”

Paul was a bad man and we are all bad men. Then Paul had an encounter, a revelation, but instead of just stopping, he went to the other end of the spectrum and became an extremist for grace instead of an extremist for law. Where are the encounters and the revelations that shake us to our very being and drive us to extreme measures? The thing about Jesus was that, and I do not really understand it, he was so full of grace that bad people everywhere flocked to him, crying out for grace, which he gave them. But then he demanded something more, he demanded both a change of heart and a change of actions, he demanded everything, and often they agreed! We fear erring on the side of grace but then neither do we inspire radical change. If a leader wants something to change, he has got to change himself first. Paul got ahold of that, which enabled him to offer himself as an example to follow. There is no way we are called to mediocre discipleship, neither are we called to mediocre leadership that preaches a mediocre gospel. Surely there is something radical in us all that is longing to be drawn out and brought to life, something that longs for the wine in all of its danger.


The thing about Jesus is that his teaching and example are hard to follow, hard to imitate. It is difficult to measure up to the Sermon on the Mount.
Blessed are those who recognize their spiritual poverty for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn and suffer, who are humble, who care more about justice than their own food and water, who show mercy, who are pure in heart, who seek peace and are persecuted for his sake.
Then he brings it home: when an evil person strikes you, do not strike back, but turn to him the other cheek and look him in the eye. If someone demands your shirt, give him your jacket as well. Do the double of what you are asked or forced to do. Do not resist an evil person and give to those who ask of you. Find out who your enemies are so that you can love and pray for them.

“Who wants to be my disciple? Who wants to follow my example? Who wants to lose their life?” Jesus asked these questions as he walked this earth. And then he lost his life and we found ours. He is still asking today, but perhaps in the West we are having trouble distinguishing between his voice and the voice of the jesus we have created in our own image... Our jesus does not ask difficult things of us, he does not demand much, he is nice like a good pet. We use him for our own ends, be they political, religious, or even moral. That is a dangerous Jesus to have, perhaps even more dangerous than the real one, since it will lull us to sleep and then when we least expect it, crumble beneath our feet.
At first, people do not want to hear about this Jesus, they are just fine with their comfortable jesus. It is like a person being woken from a deep sleep. As they come to consciousness they resent being woken up and are bad-humored until the sleep begins to clear from their eyes. As awareness seeps in they begin to see and understand and the resentment is replaced with gratitude, for they realize that while what they were dreaming was pleasant, it is of no comparison to what actual food tastes like and the sense of a human touch. Are we willing to exchange the jesus we have dreamt up for the actual thing? Are we willing to shake people from their slumber at the risk of being bitten?

The Western idea of who Jesus is rarely lines up with extravagant grace, the uncompromising, laying down of one's life every day, seeking peace, actively loving those who persecute us, those who are different from us. Riches, comfort and blessing are the constant theme, “what Jesus can do for us?” and so we adore his cross without taking up ours (113). Forgetting that it is only by losing our life that we discover where true life is and what it is truly about. Instead the theme should read, “What has Jesus taught us to do for others?” Many people are asking the question: how can Western Christians be so content and preach a God who blesses so much, when in neighbouring countries their very brothers and sisters do not have enough food, very little clean water, not many jobs and a whole lot of pain? It is not enough to preach a God who blesses and then just sit by and watch. It is God who blesses but demands that it be with our own hands and feet. He demands actions not statements. We need to take seriously Jesus’ teaching on the poor, even if it means a radical change in the way we live our lives. In Peter’s early days he talked a big talk but when it came time to die for those words he could only muster up a few words of denial. The discrepancy between what the church says and does concerning those who lack must disappear.

Where are the leaders and prophets who cry out for peace in a world of war? Where are the men and women who forgive in the face of hate and persecution? Where are the disciples who love their terrorist enemies? Where are the people who show mercy to those who do not deserve mercy? We are shown mercy and we do not deserve it. We are loved and we do not deserve it. What is grace if not love and mercy and forgiveness for those who are undeserving, the sick and the needy? “Whatever you do to the least of these, you do to me.” Oh that those words would sink into our very beings and then burn brightly outwards!


Every leader has a platform from which to speak. The question is then: what gospel do we preach from there? Remembering all the while that our platform is not one we are able to step off of at the end of the talk. Many famous athletes shrug off the example they set saying that they did not ask to be put in the spotlight, they did not asked to be watched and idolized, so it is not their problem when people imitate their bad example. The truth is that it comes with the territory. When Jesus says, “Come and follow me” and we take him up on it, it is not on our conditions. Like it or not, we are accountable for the message of our life.
I Timothy 4:16 Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.

Whether we are given a microphone, whether in the pulpit, the street, the homeless shelter, the courthouse, the office, the home, or the school, our lives are shouting a message. Whether we live as a radical or a lukewarm, a message will be sent out loud and clear. Which is it, a prophetic life lived radically as a disciple willing to lay down his life for his Lord or someone tiptoeing towards death, scared of suffering, scared of offending, scared of loving so sacrificially that it might cost them everything?

Do our words line up with the lives we live on that platform? Does the gospel we preach match up with the one Jesus gave his life for? Rich Mullins once said in a chapel service,
“You guys are into that born again thing, which is great. We do need to be born again, since Jesus said that to a guy named Nicodemus. But if you tell me I have to be born again to enter the kingdom of God, I can tell you that you have to sell everything you have and give it to the poor, because Jesus said that one guy too... [And he paused in the awkward silence.] But I guess that's why God invented highlighters, so we can highlight the parts we like and ignore the rest.” (98,99)
Of course the Bible is full of things that if we do not read them in context we will not understand them, much less be able to fulfil them. But we write so much off as “not for us” or “impossible to do” and the question has to be asked, have we grappled with the hard things Jesus says, or do we just highlight the parts around them? God’s heart is that we grapple, we ask questions and that we explore that which perhaps most strikes fear in our hearts.


If you ask people today what they associate with the concepts leader or leadership, you will probably hear something like: power, authority, strength, vision, driven, being first, influence, followers and then if the conversation continues, perhaps words like corruption, greed, self-interest, and abuse might find their way in. Jesus turns our concept of leadership and what a leader is on its head in so many ways. The Kingdom of God is upside down. You give only to get. You lose only to find. The last will be first, the weak are the truly strong and on the backs of nobodies who make up an adulterous people, the kingdom is going to spread like yeast through dough. Good luck trying to reverse that process.
And then Jesus takes off his jacket, kneels down in front of his disciples and takes their dirty feet (that happen to be so beautiful for the good news they carry) and he washes them. Loud and clear he shows the extent of his love. Loud and clear, with the towel around his waist and the water in the bowl, he expresses what is it to truly lead, that is, to do what few are willing to do, to love that which is difficult to love and then to go and lay down one’s life for that which is undeserving. In the upside-down kingdom, the perspective from the floor is much more accurate than from the head of the table... Literally it keeps one grounded.
As the water was being poured out over their feet, some running back into the bowl and some escaping onto the floor to seep down into the cracks, Jesus was profoundly communicating that if they wanted to lead as he led, if they wanted be as he was, they would have to serve as he served. Then the image of the water being poured out turned out to be the image of his blood being poured out, leaving no doubt as to what sort of sacrifice was being demanded: the entirety of a life, because it has been bought at a price, and it is no longer your own. His sacrifice, his blood, it shies away from the academic and grounds itself in our human makeup. So drink deeply he said, for this wine represents my blood, and do it to remember me.

The Son of God himself did not come to be served, but rather to serve. It is only when we understand where we have come from, who we are and where we are going, that we are truly able to give completely of ourselves. This is not easily attained since we are imperfect people, weak with shortcomings. Paul however, understood who he was and where he came from when he referred to himself as the greatest of sinners and yet continued forward, forgetting what was behind. It is a revelation of who we truly are in Christ that frees us up to then give everything, to wash feet with pure motives and hearts.

Then we will not stop at just the feet of other Christians, or the feet of our friends or even at the feet of those who are similar to us. The gospels repeat that even pagans can love those who love them back. It will then include those who are difficult to love, to those who are different than us, who hate us, who make life difficult for us, who bomb us and look for ways to destroy us. Jesus says that if they hated him, they are going to hate us. And then he died for them that they might know his love. Greater love hath no man than to lay down his life...

What is leadership if not the laying down of our life for those we come into contact with? Leadership is sacrifice, it is the giving of oneself on a daily basis, in order that who we are and what is in us begins to express itself in other people. There is an impartation that goes beyond words and teachings.
Often the disciples did not understand what Jesus was on about as he talked to them in parables and prophecies. It was much later when what he said finally sunk in and they had revelation. What spoke right away however were the tears and laughter, the joy and pain that they shared with him over the three years they walked the face of this planet together. It was those experiences that put a face to the words that Jesus spoke.
The sharing of meals with prostitutes, tax collectors, Jews, Gentiles, even Pharisees, all the while being judged for it. There was no one that Jesus would not share a meal with, and in those days that was saying something to the effect of there was no one that Jesus was not willing to touch, to call a friend, to accept, to join himself to in love.
He was controversial and far from politically correct because his aim was not to please men but rather the Father. He talked to promiscuous (and sometimes even Samaritan) women and in the house of a leper he allowed expensive perfume to be poured out over him. He healed people's sicknesses, he healed their hearts, he forgave sins, he cast out demons, and he fed people and went to parties. He tested people's faith, was occasionally appalled by the lack of it, and frequently overjoyed when he found the smallest amount. Are we afraid to touch people for fear that we may be associated with them, or even worse, be contaminated by them? It is fascinating to see the frequency with which Jesus touched people, often the unclean outcasts of society.

He did all of this with his disciples at his side. He drew them apart to teach them, to explain things to them. He was occasionally furious with them but then overjoyed when they finally got it. He gave them power and authority and sent them out like sheep among wolves, telling them that the harvest was plentiful but the workers were few, and that they were to heal the sick and announce the good news of the upside down kingdom where anyone was welcome. He gave so much that it was only by withdrawing to be alone with his Father that he was able to rise again the next day to do it all over again.

In his disciples, Jesus saw what was before it came into being. Still raw, passionate and with an uncanny ability to miss the point, he called them, formed them and then ignited something in them that even the most powerful empire on the face of the earth would not be able to extinguish. He loved them, cared for them, taught them, showed them, gave of himself to them, and when the time came, he left them to set about imparting, to the ends of the earth, what he had rooted deep within them.
It is what we are called to do, to repeat, to go to the entire world and do. Go to the world and make disciples, go to the world and represent me, pour yourself out till there is nothing left. Give of yourself to other people, take them, show them, love them and they will too become disciples. We may not have walked dusty roads with him but he does know us by name and we do have his words, his stories and we have the Holy Spirit that should be like a fire in our belly. And we have examples, people who walked before us, people who are walking with us, and we can learn and grow from their examples. Instead of distancing ourselves from the words of Jesus, instead of reinterpreting them so thoroughly that we are left with very little, perhaps we should take him and his example of what a leader is a little more literally.

There seem to be few instances where Jesus teaches his disciples how to lead other people. Nearly everything he says to them has to do with them living as disciples themselves. Then he tells them to go make more disciples. The natural deduction is that a true disciple will be contagious. [It has been said that if you want to change the world, start with yourself.] Other people will see it, will catch it, will imitate it and it will spread like an epidemic with no cure. An epidemic of passionate love for Jesus and for our neighbours, even if they happen to be our enemies.
Shane Clairborne has experienced first hand how this is working out for the Christians in Iraq, as they are having to love like Jesus loved, even as bombs and missiles from a “Christian nation” are destroying their neighbourhoods, homes and even their very lives. They have no choice but to love and forgive because that is what Jesus demands of them. What does Jesus demand of us? And why separate them from us, when we are part of the same church, the same body? Their prayer is that the power of love and forgiveness, instead of hate and retaliation, might wake up a nation (and a church) that has forgotten that grace and redemption apply to “terrorists” just as much as to sinners already saved by grace. And so if we are truly one family than that should become our prayer as well, as we ask ourselves what action we need to take. For if we stay silent while injustice is rampant, we then become guilty ourselves.
“We are all wretched and we are all beautiful. No one is beyond redemption. May we see in the hands of the oppressors our own hands, and in the faces of the oppressed our own faces. We are made of the same dust, we cry the same salty tears.” (365)


Fyodor Dostoyevsky said that to love a person means to see him as God intended him to be. He must have got that from Jesus. The world has changed in many ways since the days Jesus when walked this earth and yet really, it has not changed all that much. We can see in human faces what Jesus saw 2000 years ago: pain, insecurity and doubt of people who have been created in the image of God, who are loved by him more than they can imagine, but just do not know it yet. The challenge is this then: to live a life worthy of the calling, to lead as Jesus led, and that is to lay down our life in whatever way the Father may ask of us. We are called to love all, to shepherd, to teach, to prophecy, to provoke, to challenge, to cry, to laugh, to turn the other cheek, to stand up in the face of tyranny and injustice, to serve, to drink deeply from his cup and to when all else is finished, to love some more. In doing so we will be truly leading, imparting to others what it is to be like the Son.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to wake up one morning and have the realization hit you like a ton of bricks… that all this time you have been walking around like a man in a haze, and that all it takes to burn away the fog is to live a life that burns so brightly that everyone in your surroundings either gets burnt or runs away…
And the worst thing would be to live looking back, wondering, what if… what if I had taken the wine..?








Wishful Thinking. Buechner, Frederick. 1993 Harper Collins
The Irresistible Revolution. Clairborne, Shane. 2006 Zondervan

next month...

the ship has pulled into harbor. now in english - indianaland for a bit.

look for:

actual blog posts.
a new commitment to writing.
something of a tan.
but not too much cause im not going to be working outside much.
might not be working much period.
thus the new commitment to writing.
an improvement in spoken english.
pictures.
and new thoughts on life.

stay tuned.

travels

last boat to america. leaves tomorrow.

y en español - Oswald Chambers

"Dios nos da la visión, luego nos hace descender al valle para batirnos hasta darnos la forma de la visión, y es en el valle donde tantos de nosotros desfallecemos y cedemos. Toda visión se realizará si tenemos paciencia. ¡Piensa en el tiempo ilimitado de que dispone Dios! Nunca tiene afán. Nosotros siempre estamos frenéticamente afanados. A la luz de la gloria de la visión salimos para hacer algo, pero la visión no es real en nosotros todavía, y Dios tiene que llevarnos al valle, y hacernos pasar por los fuegos y los ríos para modelarnos a fuerza de golpes hasta que lleguemos al lugar donde puede confiarnos la verdadera realidad. Desde que tuvimos la visión, Dios ha estado trabajando modelándonos según el ideal; y una y otra vez nos escapamos de Su mano y tratamos de batirnos según nuestro propio molde.

La visión no es un castillo en el aire, sino un cuadro de lo que Dios quiere que seas. Deja que te ponga en Su rueda y te voltee como quiera; y tan cierto como Dios es Dios y tú eres tú, saldrás exactamente de acuerdo con la visión. No te desanimes durante el proceso. Si has tenido alguna vez la visión de Dios, puedes tratar tanto como quieras de sentirte satisfecho en un nivel más bajo; pero Dios nunca te lo permitirá."

Oswald Chambers quote

“God gives us the vision. He takes us down us to the valley to batter us into the shape of the vision, and it is in the valley that so many of us faint and give way. Every vision will be made real if we have patience. Think of the enormous leisure of God! He is never in a hurry. We are always in such a frantic hurry. In the light of the glory of the vision we go forth to do things, but the vision is not real in us yet; and God has to take us into the valley, and put us through fires and floods to batter us into shape, until we get to the place where He can trust us with the veritable reality. Ever since we had the vision God has been at work, getting us into the shape of the ideal, and over and over again we escape from His hand and try to batter ourselves into our own shape.

The vision is not a castle in the air, but a vision of what God wants you to be. Let Him put you on His wheel and whirl you as He likes, and as sure as God is God and you are you, you will turn out exactly in accordance with the vision. Don’t lose heart in the process.”

the Vision

Five years ago Pete Greig of 24-7prayer wrote a prayer/poem/prophecy on the
walls of a prayer room in Chichester, England. Since then what has been
labelled 'The Vision' has spread like a virus, because it resonates in the
hearts of an emerging generation of Jesus followers all over the world.




So this guy comes up to me and says, "What's the vision? What's the big idea?" I open my mouth and words come out like this...

The vision?
The vision is JESUS:
obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.

The vision is an army of young people.
You see bones?
I see an army.

And they are FREE from materialism -
they laugh at 9-5 little prisons.
They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday. They wouldn't even notice.
They know the meaning of the Matrix,
the way the West was won.

They are mobile like the wind,
they belong to the nations,
they need no passport.
People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
They are free,
yet they are slaves
of the hurting and dirty and dying.

What is the vision? The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes.
It makes children laugh and adults angry.
It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars.
It scorns the good and strains for the best.
It is dangerously pure.

Light flickers
from every secret motive,
every private conversation.
It loves people away from their suicide leaps,
their Satan games.

This is an army
that will lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day
its soldiers choose to loose that they might one day win the great "Well done" of faithful sons and daughters.

Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night.

They don't need fame from names.
Instead they grin quietly upwards
and hear the crowds chanting again and again:
"COME ON!"

And this is the sound of the underground,
the whisper of history in the making,
foundations shaking,
revolutionaries dreaming once again.
Mystery is scheming in whispers,
conspiracy is breathing...
This is the sound of the underground

And the army is discipl(in)ed -
young people who beat their bodies into submission.
Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms.
The tattoo on their back boasts
"For me to live is Christ and to die is gain."

Sacrifice fuels the fire
of victory in their upward eyes.
Winners.
Martyrs.
Who can stop them? Can hormones hold them back? Can failure succeed? Can fear scare them or death kill them?

And the generation prays
like a dying man with groans beyond talking,
with warrior cries, sulphuric tears and great barrow loads of laughter!

Waiting.
Watching:
24 - 7 - 365.

Whatever it takes they will give:
Breaking the rules,
shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide,
laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs,
laughing at labels,
fasting essentials.
The advertisers cannot mold them.
Hollywood cannot hold them.
Peer-pressure is powerless
to shake their resolve
at late night parties
before the cockerel cries.

They are incredibly cool,
dangerously attractive inside.
On the outside? They hardly care!
They wear clothes like costumes: to communicate and celebrate,
but never to hide.

Would they surrender their image or their popularity? They would lay down their very lives, swap seats with the man on death row, guilty as hell:
a throne for an electric chair.

With blood and sweat and many tears,
with sleepless nights and fruitless days,
they pray as if it all depends on God
and live as if it all depends on them.

Their DNA chooses JESUS.
(He breathes out, they breathe in.)
Their subconscious sings.
They had a blood transfusion with Jesus.

Their words make demons scream in shopping centres.
Don't you hear them coming?

Herald the weirdos!
Summon the losers and the freaks.
Here come the frightened and forgotten
with fire in their eyes!
They walk tall and trees applaud,
skyscrapers bow,
mountains are dwarfed
by these children of another dimension.

Their prayers summon the Hound of Heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.

And this vision will be.
It will come to pass;
it will come easily;
it will come soon.

How do I know?
Because this is the longing of creation itself,
the groaning of the Spirit,
the very dream of God.

My tomorrow is His today.
My distant hope is His 3-D.
And my feeble,
whispered,
faithless prayer
invokes a thunderous,
resounding,
bone-shaking
great "Amen!"
from countless angels,
from hero's of the faith,
from Christ himself.

And He is the original dreamer,
the ultimate winner.
Guaranteed.

see?

it must be the heat that causes slothfulness here. i like the heat but it seems to correspond with low blog output. perhaps with a bit of willpower that could change...

what happened in may? well lots of things. 3 outdoor concerts were organized near the church building here. 3 consecutive saturdays. 3 consecutive weeks of lots of work. who knew there were so much content to remember? well needless to say there was a consecutive culmination. we learned with each one. by the end there was like a cumulative blessing. a core of us were involved and we did all we could to choreograph them in a capable manner. to cut to the chase i am just trying to use as many "c" words as i can in this paragraph, that is, without ceding to the dictionary. not that any of the information is counter-productive, in fact, these are all certifiable. its really what just came out. the conception of this current idea was not conceived prior to the initial c word used. it just came about.

well it was a nice experience, don't want to beat the c words to death and lose my audience... we really did have some concerts.

suddenly this is turning into a post about nothing. the heat seems to have sapped any sync i had with the words and instead of setting out what actually happened i find myself slipping back into what i have just stepped out of. relaying bits and pieces of information simply to be able to use "s" words. some would say it was silliness, others delirium. i simply attribute it to a slow salvation from the world of sweet and sour, blended into shakespeare. so please forgive my surliness and the fact that i have somehow managed to waste 3 minutes of your time as your eyes skimmed the previous sectiones...

signing off before it just gets sad...

lazy

its june now.

i feel like i need to update.



there.

a rather traditional post

how about just a normal, good old-fashioned, no pretenses, or rants to express, lighthearted but not really funny, post? not even an update. no analysis on the evolution of a blog. or humankind for that matter. although it did come up in a class yesterday. (i asked them where they had come from, meaning their house, their work, or a bar, to which one woman replied, "monkeys". fair enough, i mean, the question could be looking for the deep significance to our existence rather than the simple adquirition of knowledge about the movements of a few pupils prior a class, but anyways i am digressing! she was surprised to hear that i struggled with the concept of coming from a monkey. dirty, annoying little creatures who are far cuter in pictures than in real life. haha, perhaps i am defending the very point i was to trying to flaw... nah.) but back to the original, not really about anything post.

the weather isn't really worth mentioning. but since this is a completely non-significant post, the weather must be mentioned, because weather is neutral. needless to say, the weather in april has been better than may weather so far. its been bordering on cold as my feet could tell you. (i have been in flip-flops for the last 3 weeks due to an injury sustained playing football. flippin scab on that little knobby bit just off my big toe on the right foot. its impossible to get anything healed on a foot if you have ever noticed! nothing like the mouth which brilliantly rights the ships at incredible speeds! so to promote healing it has been flip-flops!) but yeah, cold weather.

since this is a digressive post, back to the old days, it bears mentioning that i am listening to the shins for the first time in months and months. its good to rotate music. lay it down for a while so you can go back to it and pick up back up like a favorite winter jacket that has been in the back of the closet for the summer months!

i have a mandarine sitting beside my computer waiting for me to finish this post and be devoured. i can sense it´s expectation.

been reading a little Paul Auster for the first time. i like his style. perhaps he is inspiring me to write. perhaps. one day. the one i just finished was about a writer. so it took me inside his head and made me want to sit down and put things into words. we'll see.

it'll be called a night then now.

math problem

is half of two plus two equal to two or three?

question

for all those who complain about lack of content...

is not quality more important that quantity?

the world in icons

so i found this online- Hoja de Reclamaciones. each icon represents a problem that is found in that part of the world... some of them are easy to figure out while others are more difficult...

global warming
homicide
sexual tourism
extinction
deforestation
terrorism
murder
drugs
exploitation
commercialism
pollution
AIDS
racism
nuclear warfare

thought provoking...

more thoughts on coffee

i have realized that i perhaps obsess over the idea of coffee more than the stuff itself. i think i have coffee idealized. i idealize everything surrounding coffee and perhaps it is a comfort thing.

if i do not have a coffee in the morning i will mention that very fact in every conversation that i have throughout the day. is that healthy?

i could live without coffee.

but i don't want to, because it's to me what the blanket is to Linus. it's a crutch. when i feel uncomfortable, when i don't know what to say, when i want to be liked, when i want to fit it, when i want to be cool, when i want to be accepted, when i want to fill the empty spaces, i mention coffee... without the association of coffee with my person, and i must ask this question, what would happen to it all? it would all go down. i would be uninteresting, not hip, unaccepted, and generally be surrounded by empty spaces.

so if that is what it is, would i be better off without it? and i'm talking about so much more than caffeine dependence.

loosen the grip and let go. the fall is freeing!

songs and coffee

i don't write like i used to

the names of a few songs on my playlist:

last boat to america
weary saints
speak to me gently
for who you are
does that make sense
after the rain
the cure for pain
sleeping lessons
headlights on dark roads
yesterday threw everything at me


on a different note, there is a brand of coffee here called:
Nespresso. What else?
café, cuerpo y alma


(that's coffee, body and soul in english, nice)

that was

lyrical ecstasy.

a few more fotos

sala de oración

prayer room.

last saturday we went and decorated a few rooms in the church in order to do an intense prayer day. so it went like this. we stole the idea from 24-7 prayer/international house of prayer, where people decorate rooms in order to stimulate prayer and provide an atmosphere that provokes prayer. lots of creative stuff. lots of stuff to help people enter in to the presence of God.

my world is full of need.
my country if full of need.
my city is full of need.
my street is full of need.
my life is full of need.

why not pray?

and so we did. the first room was to get things sorted between you and God. paper to write worries and things that might inhibit your ability to pray. a bin to toss them in. a clothesline to hang notes of thanks on with clothespins. the following room was dedicated to spain and extremadura. newspapers to browse through while praying. then scissors to cut out things and put them on the wall, all the while praying. to the left was more local. an interactive cd on extremadura, which loads of info on how to pray. next was the world. a huge map with little stickons to portray prayers. paragraphs written about countries in need. flags. later a room with a huge blank sheet where names of friends and family members can be scribbled down. acts of faith that God will touch and intervene in their lives. and at the end, a reflection room. where prayers, where thoughts, where praise, where anything can be written on the wall. visible thoughts and prayers. candles. red lights. cushions on the floor, you get the idea.

time well spent. eternity was affected. that day, many prayers drifted into the throne room, carrying with them a beautiful smell.

wedding

the other weekend some really good friends of mine, juli and maría, got married. happiness.


the mafia


az and abby


juli and maría

Interpreters

a prayer

You have spoken.
You have touched my heart and it pained me.
You extended your finger and it burned.
I felt dry and distant and never again do I want that experience.
You have me.

I give you my dreams.
I lay them down at your feet.
All I have is yours.
My reputation is yours.
My security is yours.
My vision is yours.
My heart is yours
I give you my hopes.
My expectations are in your hands.

I am your creation and you are my creator.
My life has been bought at a price.
I am no longer my own.
I live not for myself but for you, my God.
And I realize that all I can do is lay myself down at your feet.

ashes

.
.
a sermon on eternity
.
i judge all things only by the price they will gain in eternity. (Wesley)

just how awesome is our God?

he owns the cattle on a thousand hills. he knows the hair on my head. he thought of me and loved me before i was even conceived. he gave his son in my place. he chases me, he pursues me. he holds me in his hand and knows me intimately. who am i to doubt his providence?

barcelona

24-7 visión

Lo siguiente es lo que está escrito en la página web de 24-7 como su visión. Estoy de acuerdo.



Así que este tipo viene y dice: ¿Cuál es la visión? ¿Cuál es la gran idea? Abro mi boca y comienzan a salir estas palabras...


¿La visión? La visión es Jesús, obsesiva, peligrosa, innegablemente Jesús. La visión es un ejército de jóvenes. ¿Ves huesos? Yo veo un ejército. Libres del materialismo. Se ríen de las pequeñas celdas con jornada de 10 a 8.Pueden comer caviar el lunes y migas el martes, y ni darse cuenta. Se mueven como el viento, ciudadanos de otro mundo. No necesitan pasaporte. La gente apunta sus direcciones con lápiz y se preguntan por su extraña existencia. Son libres, pero se hacen esclavos en favor de los heridos, los sucios y los marginados. ¿Cuál es la visión? Santidad que daña los ojos, que hace reír a los niños y enfada a los adultos. Santidad que deja atrás la falta de integridad para alcanzar las estrellas. Desprecia lo bueno, apuesta por lo mejor. Peligrosamente pura. Trae a la luz cada motivación secreta, cada conversación privada. Ama a la gente, salvándolos de sus saltos suicidas y sus juegos satánicos.

Es un ejército que dará su vida por la causa. Un millón de veces al día deciden perder para algún día ganar el "Bien hecho, siervo fiel". Un ejército disciplinado. Héroes tan radicales el lunes por la mañana como el domingo por la noche. No necesitan la fama de un nombre. Miran a lo alto oyendo a las masas celestiales murmurar una y otra vez: ¡ADELANTE!

Cada soldado tomaría como suya la bala de su compañero. Jóvenes que disciplinan su cuerpo en sumisión. El tatuaje de sus cuerpos declara: "El vivir es Cristo, y el morir es ganancia".

El sacrificio enciende el fuego de la victoria en sus ojos. Vencedores. Mártires. ¿Quién los puede detener? ¿Vencerá el fracaso? Podrá el miedo aterrorizarlos, o la muerte matarlos? Y la generación ora como un moribundo, con lamentos más allá de las palabras. Con gritos de guerrero y lágrimas ardientes. Harán lo que haga falta. Rompiendo esquemas. Desafiando lo mediocre, rindiendo sus derechos. Riéndose de las etiquetas. La publicidad no podrá moldearlos, Hollywood no podrá sujetarlos. ¿Cuál es la visión? Por dentro peligrosamente atractivos. ¿Por fuera? Da igual. Se disfrazan para comunicar y celebrar, nunca para ocultar. Tomarán el lugar del condenado a muerte. Un trono a cambio de una silla eléctrica. Con sangre, sudor y lágrimas, noches en vela y días sin fruto, oran como si todo dependiera de Dios y viven como si todo depende de ellos. Su ADN es Cristo. Él espira, ellos inspiran. En su interior cantan. Han recibido una transfusión de Jesús. ¿No los oyes venir? Aquí llegan los asustados y los olvidados con fuego en sus ojos. Caminan rectos y los árboles aplauden, los rascacielos se arrodillan ante estos niños de otra dimensión. Sus oraciones invocan los antiguos sueños del Edén. Y esta visión se hará realidad. Se cumplirá. Llegará de forma sencilla. Vendrá pronto. ¿Cómo lo sabemos? Porque es el anhelo de la creación, el llanto del Espíritu, el sueño de Dios. Nuestro mañana, su hoy. Nuestra esperanza, su tercera dimensión. Nuestra débil oración invoca un potente y sonoro AMEN de millones de Ángeles, de los héroes de la fe. Del soñador original, el vencedor definitivo, Cristo mismo.

Ésta es la visión.

¿?

birth is meant to be born.
life is meant to be lived.
music is meant to be played.
air is meant to be breathed.
time is meant to be spent.
death is meant to be died.
while the past was.
the future will be.
and eternity is.

someone has said...

wherever you go, there you are.

porque mola

no idea if it´s real or not but... man.

kilometro 0

English video


Spanish video


Last Saturday, 10 of us from Extremadura got up at 4:30 am and left at 5 for Madrid. It's about 4 and a half hours away and so at 10 am we arrived. The purpose of the journey was to visit Kilometro Cero. It is an evangelistic center in the heart of Madrid, in perhaps the most famous plaza in the entire country. Everyday thousands upon thousands of people from all over the world pass through. The videos both show and tell you what it is about.

What we were going there for was a Saturday day school they put on every once in a while. For several hours in the morning, in a premises overlooking the plaza they give workshops on everything from how to talk to people about eternity and the law, to how to give your testimony, to how to preach a 5 to 7 minute message, all in the street, all aimed at people who don't know. And then after having spent several hours learning, you go out and do it.

Now watch the videos.

I must say it was incredible to be in the plaza, surrounded by thousands of people passing by, sharing the reality of Jesus in the open air. In the school that morning there 80 some people. The focus was how to share your testimony. Then we went out and did it. A mixture of nerves, adrenaline and the presence of God is how it is best described. I had to opportunity to be one of people who got up on the box and share my testimony. It was awesome and left me wanting to do it again. There is something freeing about letting it all go and not worrying about anything. Like I mentioned there were about 80 of us but as well there were lots of people who stopped and listened. At various points there were probably 130 people or so within hearing. Some stayed for a while, so moved on quickly, but the message was being shared! After a combination of music, testimonies and a short message, we prayed for people who wanted it, and gave them a copy of one of the gospels. At various points there were probably 20 people in conversations with people from our group!

There is a lot more I could say, but suffice it all to mention that it left me with a desire for more. Wanting to share more, wanting to let it all even more, wanting to be involved with something like that on a regular basis. They work with churches, they are seeing people saved and plugging into churches. While it's not always politically correct, God is there and they are seeing lots of fruit. It's another part of what God is doing here and it's awesome.

golf

i think one day i should own a VW. simply for the sake of owning a VW.

the neutral zone

a recent talk i heard on noah:

Hope in the Neutral Zone

for when you are floating. for when the old world is gone, and covered in a flood. for when you are shut in the boat, with no control over direction, no idea of where you are going, or when the water is going to disappear and you will be able to see the new world awaiting... for when you are just floating, waiting on God to speak again.

youth update

It has been a little while since I last sent out an update on what is happening here in the youth, so it's definitely time because God has been moving!

Six months ago God seemed to suddenly put things into motion. After spending a couple of years involved in the youth work across Extremadura and not seeing much happen, we had a youth event where God poured out his Spirit and gave many of the youth a taste of something that they had never had prior: an experience of a living, powerful, holy God.
In the following six months a number of things have been changing. We are seeing a growing interest for inter-church activities and relationships across the region are growing rapidly, realizing that when there is unity and a heart to see God move... it will happen.
God has brought about some radical changes in the youth leadership across the region. Many who were youth themselves just a couple of years ago now find themselves leading their youth groups and asking how, when and where is God going to move! And at the same time wanting to work together, to be disciples and grow, while not being worried about politics and numbers that so often accompany small churches.

Practically we have been holding an event once a month between four local churches in the area and usually get between 40 to 50 youth along. It has been named "Something more to give" (it sounds better in Spanish). We have times of worship, prayer and seeking God, and of course fellowship. We have a long way to go still but there is an increasing hunger for God and a desire to not settle. There is a lot of discipleship to be done and more and more of them are opening up and saying they want it!

In our church, Comunidad Cristiana de Esperanza (Christian Community of Hope if we were to translate it literally) there has been an increase in numbers which is really encouraging. As little as a year ago we would get anywhere from 2 to 10 youth along to a particular event or normal youth meeting. Currently we usually get at least 12 along each Saturday but sometimes up to 18 if everyone comes. And in those kids there have been some real changes and encounters with God. As well, with Diana and I, we have another girl called Brenda who is about 20 and has been a great help. So not only are we seeing the youth growing but we are seeing God raising up leaders from amongst them!

We just had a youth retreat two weekends ago where from our church we took 19 kids. Again God moved powerfully and many kids were really impacted. Including one from our group who gave his life to Jesus. They are growing a lot and are beginning to get connected into the bigger picture of what God is doing in Spain. They are meeting youth from across the nation and are realizing that there is a lot going on in the kingdom! They are excited and are asking the question, what does it mean to live a life completely given over to God. This question is crucial and so encouraging!

We have a fair bit planned for this year: evangelistic-focused encounters in a few of the villages throughout the region to spread what God is doing, trips to Madrid and other places to continue to connect with and establish relationships with the wider body and see what God is doing on a national level (which seems to be picking up a lot of momentum and I meet and talk with other youth from different places), and many smaller local events to be shared amongst the churches, all with the focus on bringing them together into tighter relationship, seeking God and sharing Jesus with others. All this while beginning to disciple and raise up more leaders as was mentioned earlier!

Please continue to pray for us.
Many of the kids come from VERY complicated backgrounds and nearly every single one in my group comes from a broken home. So baggage is there, but it makes it that much more incredible when God truly does deal with it. (Like he has done in our church leadership team! It leaves you unable to deny the power of God!!)
Also, many churches in the area are very short on resources, so continue to pray that God will provide. Few of the youth I am working with come from financially secure backgrounds and if we are to continue to train them, raise them up, open their worlds to the bigger picture it takes money! There are more and more resources, events, and training centres springing up across Spain and a network is being created. In order to take advantage of these God will have to provide.
That God will continue to give us a hunger and a desire to seek him. And that unity will continue to increase and God will give us similar vision across the region (which I believe he is already doing!)

I'm excited and believe that we continue to be on the tip of so much more! So thanks for all your prayers and support.

youth retreat fotos

afternoon futbol


con uno de mis chicos


2 guys im discipling if you will


group foto

how much?

many of us want just enough Jesus Christ to get to heaven, but not enough Jesus Christ to change the world we live in.

a sermon

a sermon on eternity, kinda...

eternity by buechner

Eternity is not endless time or the opposite of time. It is the essence of time.

If you spin a pinwheel fast enough then all its colors blend into a single color-white-which is the essence of all the colors of the spectrum combined.

If you spin time fast enough, then time-past, time-present, and time-to-come all blend into a single timelessness or eternity, which is the essence of all times combined.

As human beings we know time as a passing of unrepeatable events in the course of which everything passes away- including ourselves. As human beings we also know occasions when we stand outside the passing of events and glimpse their meaning. Sometimes an event occurs in our lives (a birth, a death, a marriage- some event of unusual beauty, pain, joy) through which we catch a glimpse of what our lives are all about and maybe even what life itself is all about, and this glimpse of what "it's all about" involves not just the present but the past and the future too.

Inhabitants of time that we are, we stand on such occasions with one foot in eternity. God, as Isaiah says (57:15), "inhabiteth eternity" but stands with one foot in time. The part of time where he stands most particularly is Christ, and thus in Christ we catch a glimpse of what eternity is all about, what God is all about, and what we ourselves are all about too.

symbols

Unfermented grape juice is a bland and pleasant drink, especially on a warm afternoon mixed half-and-half with ginger ale. It is a ghastly symbol of the life blood of Jesus Christ, especially when served in individual antiseptic, thimble-sized glasses.
Wine is booze, which means it is dangerous and drunk-making. It makes the timid brave and the reserved amorous. It loosens the tongue and breaks the ice, especially when served in a loving cup. It kills germs. As symbols go, it is a rather splendid one.


the above is quoted from Frederick Buechner's book Wishful Thinking in the context of communion. But he is not just talking about communion, he is talking about so much more.


Thinking about it, we all have a choice from which cup we will drink in life. Buechner is right, one cup is easy and safe, and the other difficult and dangerous, probably bringing with it a host of problems. Jesus posed the question that still lingers today, "Can you drink from my cup?" The cup is full of risks, pain, suffering, problems and in a way death. But when we stop and think about it, really think about it, we will see that it is the only cup that brings life, life in its truest and fullest form. The way it was meant to be lived.

una coversación

¿para qué? te pregunto
y me miras con sola una mirada.
¿a donde? atrevo yo
y me sonríes con compasión.
que no sé si puedo
y me respondes que ya he llegado

lyrics for the cure for pain

I'm not sure why it always flows downhill
Why broken cisterns never could stay filled
I've spent ten years singing gravity away
But the water keeps on falling from the sky

And here tonight while the stars are blacking out
With every hope and dream I've ever had in doubt
I've spent ten years trying to sing these doubts away
But the water keeps on falling from my eyes

And heaven knows... heaven knows
I tried to find a cure for the pain
Oh my Lord! to suffer like you do...
It would be a lie to run away

So blood is fire pulsing through our veins
We're either riders or fools behind the reigns
I've spent 10 years trying to sing it all away
but the water keeps on falling from my tries

faith

They say faith is about stepping off the edge and knowing, or is it believing? that there will either be something to catch you... or that you will find that you have wings to fly.
Sometimes I feel like the edge has come and gone, and the wings I have are too small for the weight, no one has caught me yet, and I'm still falling, wandering what it will be like when I hit the bottom. The only faith I have left is that when I do, I will still be believing...

song by jon foreman

the cure for pain. sorry for the quality but it was the best i could find.

a few more photos

brighton

in salt lake city we decided we couldn't pass through without carving some powder, so a day's snowboarding was voted in... at Brighton Ski Resort...






pulled out of the ski resort at 5 and drove about 300 miles till we stopped in Rawlins, Wyoming at 9 pm.