the briefest of updates

My oh my que frío hace! A cold wave has swept down from England and Germany to freeze the fingertips off all the Spaniards. Not that it wasn't cold before, just that now it's freezing. Okay, so just a degree or two above where I live, but considering the houses sit only about 5 degrees warmer than the wind chill outside, its cold!

Well I suppose this should be an about about me. Updates on my life for those who find themselves interested.

I'm currently making my own greatest hits album by Mana while I type this. It's going to be good, let me tell you! I've got to cut one song to fit it on the disk though, its like choosing between your own children.

I continue to stick my hair up in the morning with this sticky stuff and shave every other day. Though with the cold, the odds on a beard are going up if you are on your way to the local bookie.

Recently finished the best novel I have read in the last four years. Easily. It's called the shadow in the wind by a guy called Zafon. A fat book but it cut late into my nights and early into my mornings so it didn't take long to finish. My top three novels (in no particular order) are now: The Shadow of the Wind, The Brother's Karamazov and maybe the Lord of the Ring's Trilogy. Cept that's three books. As for what book just got booted out, ahh I dunno. Before I just had a top 2.

Go Bears.
Go Barça.

It's that that is all I can think of to say about myself without getting too deep into things. I'm short on time so it'll have to do for now. Maybe a more worthy post will come along in a few days, I'm off to Barcelona for a couple of days.

If I were the owner of an ancient, mysterious house...

If I were the owner of an ancient and mysterious house I would make sure it had lots of windows. But it would not be a house of glass, for these are times in which one must be careful not to be too fragile. The windows would let lots of light in, both sunlight and lightning, and not to mention the sound of the rain. And towards the center of all those eyes, there would be a large door. One that opened up very wide, to accomodate many people, coming and going.


But there would be small doors too, in various and secret places. Ones where one must stoop to walk through. Ones that would hold lots of secrets and even more stories.


There would be windows even in the corners where they were difficult to place. There would be windows, for it would cause young children to let their imaginations run wild with the shadows that were glimpsed beyond them.

Around the library I would consider having remembrances of some of the writers whose works were held inside that library. It would be to pique the children's interest in the world of books. I would have to carefully consider that however, as the heads may simply scare the children instead of inspiring wonder and fascination.


But perhaps high above the ground I would allow pets to roam, and they would guard roof terraces and keep an eye on what was happening below, in case someone would get lost in the maze that they oversaw.





A wall would surround the maze, with only a small hidden gate to let one in. The gate too, would have many stories and a few secrets.


Somewhere, a small street would run through the property, with a walkway over the top, where one could sit and read, occasionally lifting up ones eyes to watch the paserbys hurrying underneath to get out of the rain. The rain that was lashing against the many windows.



And somewhere, amidst old garden sheds, trees that are older than history, surrounded by stone walls would be a tall tower. It would stretch above everything else, overlooking what was to be overlooked. It would not have many windows. And every so often, the sound of a bell being rung would steal over the house, and it would cause all to stop what they were doing and listen. It would go on for a minute and then slowly die away in the evening light. Only every so often, with not much regularity. However the tower would only have one entrance, and that entrance would always be barred and locked. No one would know who had the key, and it would make stories rise up in the children's hearts. Stories of past deeds, past loves, past losses... Stories mixed with intrigue and wonder and perhaps a small amount of fear only if they happened to be looking at the tower as the last gleams of light dissapeared to the west.

hair

haircuts are funny things. i spent the last week planning on getting a haircut, only to wake up each morning and decide that either 1. i was having a good hairday so why get it cut, or 2. i was poor and should save the money, thus deciding each day that i would not get a haircut.

this morning i woke up and decided neither were true. so i went and got scalped.

a survey of sorts

I would like to put a few questions to those who will see this. Please respond in the comments box, even if you don't feel qualified. To any or to all of the questions. And remember, only honest responses are valid, I don't want citations from apologetic commentaries.

Do you believe in hell, and if so what is it and why/how does it exist?

What is the criterium for spending eternity with God?

What do the words grace and choice mean to you?

2005,2006,2007

Of note:

Café en España now stretches over three years. Numberwise anyways, starting in late 2005 and now having reached early 2007, there are three years to navigate! Thought it should be commemorated. Thanks for the faithfuls who have been here from the start. And for those who haven't because I suppose that is what grace is all about.

random shots of the motherland

some disrespected sign. the view from the toilet (impressive isn't it?). juli and i outside a quality door. a fence with heads on it. you can figure out which caption goes with which picture.

a pub once frequented...

Ahh the joys of Oxford. Here at the Eagle and Child I washed down a pint in honor of two fellows whose writing I much admire. One CS Lewis and another JRR Tolkien used to frequent this joint to have a pint and talk about whatever they happened to be writing about. Quite a few decades later I joined them. But sadly they had long since gone. So I enjoyed a pleasant steak and ale pie and toasted to their health which had long since given up... May they rest in peace and make lots of posthumuous royalties.

recuerdos de inglaterra

hi from the land of rain and darkness. okay so its a harsh way to start out, but we've been here 5 days and 4 and a half of them have been filled with dreary clouds and dripping rain. other than that i have had a splendid time.
england = no sun

a few english experiences that have been had that have been (nice run of h words there followed by beens) crumpets (being the american i am i smothered them with peanutbutter and jelly) tea (i've had three cups, in the previous year i drank 4 cups total) fish and chips (now that's niiiice) followed by the inevitable skinning in the exchange rate between the pound and the dollar. since when should the english pound be worth more than the dollar? you could fit like 12 englands in the US. bigger country = stronger money

thats my take anyway. and now that ive alienated my british readers... i should say that i really do like your country. BUT tell your customs officials to be a bit nicer to me when i come to visit! nice american = easy time in customs

my good friend juli from spain came with me. he's got good english, but maybe not as good as mine. well he walked right through customs. im not bitter, i just think that better english = easier time in customs when entering an english speaking country. why don't the english understand this concept?

throwaway comment to the english: if i really disliked your country i wouldn't have bothered to come.

maybe i should name some things i like about england....
.
.
.
.

well im just glad good quality humo(u)r is never lost on a tru brit.
brit = good laugh

i will probably wrap this up now. when we reach the sunny land again i will write something perhaps slightly more worth reading... CHEERS!

tasty

chompin on some churros. i walked 15 minutes in driving rain for them! so they had better be good!

día 25

well we are fast approaching Christmas. fast approaching the time of year that i seem to enjoy more each time i experience it. my appreciation for the time of year and the cold weather (its really the only time i won't complain about my numb hands and frostbitten ears) is slowly and steadily growing. now don't take this to mean that i now like christmas films or those stupid glowing santas. i despise them more than ever. i think because both are entirely false. what i do have is a soft spot for 'O Holy Night' which i could listen to on repeat without problem for the good part of a december night.

perhaps i am stopping more then ever. and just being. being aware of being. i have a lot to be thankful for. i am blessed because i have two families. one where i live and one in indiana. yesterday i suddenly realized that i am missing my family. i am missing being able to spend christmas with them. to stop with them and just be. to eat with them and laugh and experience those moments where only until afterwards does one actually realize they were happening. i am able to do that with one family but not the other right now. being away is making me more away of what i actually have. acutely aware in fact of how i am blessed beyond measure (to have family wherever i go). is there anything else one could ask for?

have a blessed Christmas.

and to my family: miss you all and looking forward to the next Christmas i get to spend with you!

My favorite song. And it's been a long time since I've been able to name my favorite. So it's called Manda una Señal by Maná.

I would apologize for it being in Spanish but I like it in Spanish so I'm not going to.

This is some random kid drumming it with the song in the background. So you don't see the band but hey, I enjoyed it so I'm posting it!

what i've got here are a few vids taken from my camera. im no professional and neither is my camera so please don't be too harsh on us. one is of a small spanish pueblo. i held the camera up to the window as we drove through. it's not at all like the city where i live but it certainly is a normal small town, pueblito here in spain. the other two vids are of some flamenco that jeremy and i saw in seville. maybe the lighting and the sound isn't great but you get the idea of what flamenco sevillano is like... que os disfrutéis!

What we've got here is the beginning of a week with Jeremy. Quality time. Catchuptime. Well spent. Second sign down is my town. We were five hours away in Madrid, walking the streets and constantly I would see signs pointing to the city where I live. It's not that big, but all the signs made it seem like the place to be! The second picture is Jay taking some pics of the sidewalk. Whatever floats his boat. Okay, so the truth is that it said Madrid and he was getting a cool shot. All in all we hit up Madrid, Seville and the hometown Badajoz. Not bad for a stay less than a week. Anyways, I'm not going to rehash the entire trip but thought I'd stick up a few things. We saw some flamenco in Seville too, I'll try and get some video up shortly...

double quote

O momentary grace of mortal men,
which we more hunt than the grace of God.
-Shakespeare, Richard III

To love a person means to see him as God intended him to be.
-Dostoyevski

not stalking just observing

I can stare out of my thin slice of a window down into the life of another. I can see down onto their patio and in through their large double-paned sliding glass doors that are never shut with the curtains that drape their edges. I can see what is playing on the television and I can see what is hung out to dry. I can tell when they get home and I can tell when they go to bed. If they smoke, I can watch. If they play cards, I can see their hand. If they stand outside at the edge and look down at the people passing below them, I can stand looking down at them.
It makes me wonder if there is a window into my life that someone can silently look in through, without me having the slightest clue.

veinticuatro

well im 24 now. i just figured the world should know. i passed a good birthday. filled with, well you know, work and a bit of celebration. i'd say the highlight was the actual evening. about 10 oclock we were off to a sweet mexican restaurant, actually more spicy than sweet, for some quality fajitas with wicked hot green salsa. much quality later i was stuffed but still found room for a mango dessert. liquid mango with whipped cream on top. a sufficient end to a good day. but it didn't end there. we were off after that to pass some of the good night away. a band called the purple experience was doing their best impression of jimmy hendrix. they were old, they were white, they were spanish, but sure could rock. and rock they did. purple haze, all along the watchtower, and other numbers were belted out. not bad, not bad. if you were to try and talk to them in english however, you'd only get as far as hello and a blank stare. that's cause all they'd done was memorize the words. don't look too suprised. i could give you the names of a handful of english singing bands around here who couldn't pass third grade english. its just the way it is, something about english music.

and so i passed into another year, 1 something in the morning, listening to several pony-tailed, beard boasting, seventies rockers, doing what they love to do. until next year!

choice (background)

Man in his state apart from God is a depraved creature, subject to the whims of his base nature, and is quickly dying. It is simply by the grace of God that man is able to lift his head, acknowledge his state and plead for more of that very grace that lifted his very head.

Adam chose for all mankind or if perceived outside of time, all mankind chose for Adam. To be as God is, to know right and wrong and decide as if we were a god- was our first choice and nothing has been the same since. With this decision we walked separate, apart from God. No longer was he able to draw near, to commune with us, nor us with him. Instead a holy distance developed in the space between God and man. And both were pained.

Man wondered about doing as he pleased, filling the earth, filling his belly, fulfilling his pleasures. He did as he pleased, for he was not his brothers keeper, was he? If it was pleasing, he took it, if it was painful, he fled from it. Man was left to himself and with that came death. And God full of pain decided to rid the earth of his creation.

There was a man however who walked upright. Who did not give himself over to himself, but instead, walked with God as he was a righteous and blameless man. (It is amazing what God will do for one righteous person.) So God didn't wipe out the entire Earth for the sake of Noah, and instead began building a people he could call his own. They would be his people, and he would be their God.

Thus begins a journey towards Jesus, the journey of a people, selected by God for another righteous man. This man would be the father of God's people, and his children would be numbered like the stars and the sand, and so the covenant is formed. The relationship is full of 'despites' from the very beginning. Despite man's best attempts to get in the way, ruin, and walk away from God, he is always dragged back. Despite constant idolatry, thickheadedness, adultery, murder, and countless other crimes and sins, God makes for himself a people. God is holy but is not afraid of using unholy people. And from this very people that he formed, there will come the one who crossed that holy distance between God and his people, and drew them together.

He came small and unsuspecting. Lived as a man, and was tempted in every way, yet his eyes did not linger, his heart did not covet. His words pierced hearts and minds as he spoke of a kingdom, not so far away. A kingdom where the lame walked and the blind received sight, the orphans found family and the hungry found food, the broken found comfort and the sad found joy. This kingdom is open to all, but the road is narrow, the gate small, and only those who seek find. He who is first, well he will be last, and he who is servant of all will be the greatest. And unless you become like a little child you will never get in. But faith as small as a mustard seed is all it takes.
So blessed is he who is poor in spirit, for he will recognize the kingdom, and it will be his. And lest it is thought that by works one may get in, it is only for grace, that none will be able to boast.

And so he lived a different life. One fit for a different sort of world, a different sort of kingdom. He lived and then he died. Hanging there with blood and energy seeping from his body they heaped insults on him, “you saved others, why don't you save yourself?” not seeing that every shallow breath was bringing them closer to the very forgiveness that he had just prayed over them, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” Meanwhile, the thief on his one side turned to him and with a simple request was with him later that day in paradise. Faith so small that it is barely noticed yet it got him to a kingdom where many are invited but few are chosen. The other thief staring into the dying face of God, sneered along with the rest. Choice.

Three days later Jesus overcame death and the world has never been the same. But he did not stay long for he was to go and in his stead, send the helper, the Holy Spirit. And with the very winds of Pentecost, the person of Jesus and the Kingdom of his Father has not stopped spreading to this day.

Grey eyes and a dirty beard
hang down to holy sneakers
and cracked hands holding the cardboard
that asks God's blessing on those who give to the poor.
Weathered flannels and yellow teeth
don't find much to chew-
so an empty stomach nags
his worn soul.
Scabs and bruises cover two arms
filled with used veins
that can't often run in a straight line
because it makes the night warmer,
the bench softer,
and the memories a little foggier.

updates

bad bad bad. it's been a full week since i've written. well on my blog anyways. sorry to my faithful readers. to my unfaithful readers, well, you've got no room to complain about my unfaithful writing.

so a few quick updates:
it's cold here now.

it's even colder in my room than outside. it's simply the law of my room, it is always either hotter than the hotness outside, or colder than the coldness.

i am in a state of flux over whether to cut my hair short again or continue to grow it to warm my ears during the long cold nights i spend in my bed.

i'm taking a protein/carbohydrate drink in order to gain a bit of weight because im tired of outspoken latins telling me i need to eat, when i already eat.

i'm going to England the 27th of December till the 3rd of January. i'm taking a Spanish friend along who speaks good english, should be a great time.

az and abby have been gifted this amazing videocamera. as im the resident tech i get to play with it... and i thought my camera was fun... there might be some run-on benefits for my blog in the future.

this year's loss to ohio state only ruined one weekend instead of the usual weeklong aftershock. small benefit to being removed from the scene of the crime by an ocean. (it case you don't understand, my team Michigan just lost the game of the century. there is brief talk that there might be a rematch in a few months, though who knows.)

well that's all the updates i've got time for, it's time to eat. and of course i can't afford to miss that.