prayer

I feel like I don't know what you are up to. So often insecure, unstable and a little bit alone.
I cannot deny how you have changed me, shaped me, formed me and loved me, though I always seem to have questions running through my mind. I wonder who I am. And who I will be. I know you don't stop working.

I have said it before and I will say it again- that I am yours, before I am my own. You have the right to my innermost and my outermost. To withhold is to rob you on the one thing you ask.

My prayer is that my lack of seeing, of understanding, of capacity will not affect you in me. That you take me despite my constant double mindedness and weakness. Make me, shake me, I am yours.
And when I cry out in weakness, in lack of understanding- remember my words spoken into eternity- perhaps in ignorance but from within. And complete your work in me.

Only remember that I am small and frail and it will be only by your grace that I will be able to withstand- you in me.