laser surgery

Two days ago I was subjected to the laser. What follows is what went down.

It all started back in October with thoughts running through my head. Though really the thoughts had been running through my head for a number of years. Pretty much as soon as I heard about this phenom of a laser that could make glasses and contacts go away the running began. Since I was eight years old I pretty much have had awful vision and fat glasses. Maybe it was the carrots that I stuck in my glass of milk to avoid eating (though at some point I learned to like those orange sticks and have been making up for it ever since). Considering my dad's vision I'll just have to assume that it was hereditary and not a shortage of carrots.

Contacts are okay and glasses aren't the end of the world but the thought of not having dry eyes every night and waking up and having to reach for a pair of specs was just too tempting. So it was down to the clinic with me. It had been a couple of years since my eyes had changed and at 26 years old, the time seemed right.

Early November I marched down the to clinic recommended by my eye doctor friend whose wife had her eyes done there a few years previously. The march took about 8 minutes and I was walking through the door and 10 minutes later had a brochure and an appointment for a week later to have my cornea measured. And so it was the following week, an 8 minute march and I was ushered into the doctors office where she checked me out, deemed me worthy, explained the process, told me the price and finally we settled on December 10th for the intervention.

A month went by with no contacts. It was weird taking them out knowing that it could be the last time I ever wore them. They had been good to me but I wouldn't miss them.

It dragged on a bit but the month finally came and went and December 10th arrived. I was psyched. Completely and utterly mentally prepared for the big step in my life until 1.45 rolled around and I got a phone call saying that the surgery would have to be postponed for the following week due to complications in the computer. I was annoyed since I had been looking forward to it for so long, and would have to wait another week, but later got to thinking that at least the complications hadn't arisen with my left eye only half done.

Another week went by and the 17th rolled around. Slow as it might seem, everyday eventually arrives. It was a good exercise in patience. One that a few hours later I would wished had been drawn out even longer.

6 pm Wednesday the 17th of December 2008.
I enter the clinic with my (new) sunglasses, a huge wad of cash (in Spain people pay things in absurd amounts of cash, this was nothing), a few papers, one nerve or two and the thought that this was my last moment with glasses. And peace descended until I saw a guy walking out of the clinic with his sunglasses on, tearing running down his face, and clearly in serious pain trying not to touch his eyes.

6.15 I have got a hair net on, one of those hospital gowns, and covers on my shoes. Everything is a blur since I don't have my glasses on. I have just been given a Valium pill to make sure I'm relaxed and I find in a small room with about 8 other people listening to a mixture of Spanish and Portuguese (a lot of people come over from Portugal to be operated on in this clinic). In all there are 6 of us who are going under the laser. Blurry doctors are putting anesthetic drops in our eyes along with some yellow substance that me see everything in yellow. Reminds me of iodine. For some reason it stings my left eye like crazy while the right one is fine. Tears pour out of the left eye and my nose starts to run. There would be more to come. The guy immediately to my left seems to be fine while the two people down another guy seems to be in the same position as I am. I didn't understand much of his Portuguese though.

6.20 It all happened before I had time to assimilate it. Doctor Pilar announces that I will be the first and I am led into a dark, cold, blurry room. Here it goes. They lay me down on a table, ask if I am comfortable and the laser moves into position over my head. From this point on I am not sure of everything that happens recounting what I can... My right eye is taped shut and a metal ring is placed on my eye and opened to prevent me from blinking. My eye by this time is completely numb but I can feel pressure. A round object is placed on my eye and pressed down quite strongly until I lose my vision. I can still make out bright lights but that is it. It has to have been one of the strangest sensations I have felt in my life. Not nice but not horrible either. Just strange. In that state, being very careful not to move my eye, the first laser cut open a flap on my cornea. Then my cornea was measured and the doctor announced that there was in fact enough to fully fix my vision. Excellent news. The laser switched positions and hovering over my right eye with the left taped shut, opened a flap. And the first step was complete.

6.24 I am led across the room to another laser, laid down, and it takes it's position above my left eye. The metal ring holds my eyelid open. I am told that this is now the important step and NOT to move my eye. Everything goes black except for the red laser burning into my eye. I feel nothing but can smell burning. I am told this is normal. After 30 seconds Pilar tells me that the left eye is done. At this point I am still without pain but do feel slightly dazed and confused. The combination of lasers and Valium dim my awareness. She moves on to do my right eye but has to stop the laser once as my eye wonders off the right. Not a good thing but no harm down as she shuts the laser off. I concentrate as hard as I can but feel like I have no control. Everything is a bit dim. The second time around she completes the process and it is finished! They help me up and ask if I feel nauseous, I say no but the world is a blur, a dark blur. At 6.27 the I had new eyes.

6.29 I am led to a waiting room. I have my sunglasses on and am told to wait for a while till the doctor comes and checks my eye.

6.33 The anesthetic wears off and perhaps 4 of the painful hours of my life commence.

6.34 I am in a dark, painful world where I cannot see and cannot open my eyes. Everything is a blur. I want to rub my eyes but I cannot. It will be three months before I can rub my eyes again. That could lead to the tearing off of the flap. Not good. I am told to try and open my eyes as much as possible. Even though it is agony doing so. The light is blinding even with sunglasses on and I am unable to focus. Nevermind the burning sensation in my eyes.

7.30 The doctor checks my eyes and puts in some drops. Everything looks good, but I can't concentrate on anything except the pain. You've got about 3 or 4 more hours and then it will be fine she tells me. I leave the clinic at about 8 o'clock, led blindly by some friends. Until 12 o'clock midnight I am not allowed to go to sleep. Drops are to be put in every hour and I must try to keep my eyes open, trying to focus as much as possible.

I cannot explain the pain but just to say I never want to go through it again (don't let this put you off having laser surgery though, the next day it's all worth it). Every eye is different, plus there are different techniques. Everyone reacts differently. The important thing is the end result and that is the ability to see well. In that case, mission accomplished and I don't regret anything.

12.00 Midnight I slap my eye covers on and fall into blissful sleep. The previous hours were awful but as soon as I was asleep it all went away. I wake up 9 hours later a new man. I can see perfectly and have no pain. Amazing! I have a checkup at 10 and the doctor announces that I can see 100 percent which is extremely rare the following day. I smile and walk home seeing for the very first time!

Since then several days have gone by. Blurriness comes and goes but that is normal. My eyes are red and I wear my sunglasses outside. But there is no discomfort and occasionally I reach for my glasses or think about taking my contacts out before going to bed.... Not anymore, I am a free man!